The Sustala {7-1=} Six

How Does this Happen?

2011-07-06T17:50:00.000-06:00

When I was the mom of just two, I remember seeing this picture:

After gasping, then laughing hysterically (because they are not my children), I could not for the life of me figure out how something like that could happen. I mean, c'mon! Where was the mother???

Then I had two more children. Who were not like my first two children. At all.

They do their part to help me understand how things like that happen. Even with me here.

Today, Jace decided that drawing on himself ...

AND our leather sofa

with a PEN

was a good idea.

While I *thought* he was watching a movie. The older three were playing Uno at the kitchen table. And, I was cleaning out the refrigerator. We weren't even technically out of the room!

Thankfully, we have a family friend who restores leather. He told me to use alcohol to get the ink out. I have witch hazel and hydrogen peroxide in my house. But no alcohol. Of course. So, I ran to Walgreens and bought a rather large bottle.

After using nearly half the bottle

My sofa now looks like this:

Well, that's better. Don't ya think?

Thankfully, Eddie is out of town. He would have a stroke! Even more thankfully, the leather-master-family-friend is coming tomorrow to (PLEASE, Lord!) restore the color. I'm hoping that by the time Ed gets home, this will all be funny. In the meantime, today would not be the day to check my blog, honey. :)

Thanks to reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I somehow moved uncharacteristically quickly from "OH NO! OH MY GOSH! OH NO! I'm gonna throw up" panic-mode

"Thank you, Lord, for this little ornery boy. Even with ink on my sofa, I'm thankful for him. I'm thankful to have a sofa. And a friend who restores leather. For the ability to run to Walgreens to buy alcohol. For the elbow grease needed to rub ink out for an hour and a half." Many gifts in the midst of frustration. Always. We just have to see. Oh, how I want that to become my natural reaction.

If you haven't read that book, you should. Just don't get your 3 year old to write on the sofa to see if its changed you. I don't recommend that.

Hopefully, I will have some "just like new" photos to post after tomorrow. {fingers crossed}

Command Central

2011-06-10T15:52:00.000-06:00

I posted a picture of our new "command central" on facebook this morning and had no idea how much attention it would get. I'm glad I'm not the only one who needs this! As suggested in the fb comments, I'm posting the details here :)
This past year has not been pretty. Behaviorally, my kids have fallen apart. Bad attitudes and disobedience abound. As the mature, responsible parent that I am, I've responded by nagging, yelling, threatening - all of it in completely unpredictable patterns. :)

One of the benefits of having lots of kids (if you consider 4 a lot) is many hands to do the work! But, when I have to nag and whine and yell just to get them to dress themselves, it doesn't feel much like help. Our old system wasn't cutting it anymore - mainly because I didn't "inspect what I expect" (love that phrase!), so I had to find a way to build in accountability for me as well.

I've told y'all before I'm not creative. I have very few original ideas - and this is no different :) I have been "collecting" ideas from several places (here, here, here, here and here) for the past few weeks and combined them into something that will work for our family. I've purchased pre-made chore charts and such before. I didn't want to spend any money this time and I wanted something that would combine chores, behavior, family rules, scheduling, the whole shebang into one system, while being easy for me. 'Cause, at the end of the day, if its not easy it won't last!

Big picture:

I glued baseball card protector pages with the side & one end cut off to a poster board so they act as pockets. The craft sticks have the kids' chores written on them. Once a week, I place the sticks in the appropriate pocket. The kids pull the stick(s) for that day, complete the work and leave the stick in the kitchen, so I know the work is ready for inspection (accountability for me!). Once it passes inspection, they put the stick in their bucket (our kids have been color-coded for some time, so they know which one is theirs - though it would be cute to label it. Target generally sells the buckets in their $1 section). These are all unpaid chores - work they do to contribute to the family (I really like Dave Ramsey's philosophy on this). If they complete this work (without reminders, complaining, etc), they are allowed to choose a paid chore from a bucket I keep in the kitchen. Sundays are pay day. They receive their weekly "commission" as well as any money they earned from paid chores. The white bucket contains extra chores (or "trouble chores" as Jadyn calls them) and they are used for behavior issues related to our family rules (below).

Family Rules:

I boiled all our rules down to one word: R.E.S.P.E.C.T. :) Respect for parents, siblings, property, others & self. Each heading has some more detailed examples of what it looks like. You can download ours here. If they break a rule, they go to the chart and accept their discipline and read the Bible verse(s) associated with it. If they break the same rule again that day, they move on to the Motivator (including extra chores). This has made discipline consistent. No need for me to yell, nag, threaten, etc ... and no need for them to get angry with me over unfair punishments I'm doling out just because I'm grumpier than the last time the same behavior occurred. This week has been much calmer and happier for all of us!

Weekly Schedule

I added a dry erase weekly schedule I found at Target. It has a space for each family member, which I love. Our weeks get really busy, so this will come in very handy in the fall! Its on a magnetic board where I've hung different schedules - like the pool hours and church activities! Summer stuff for now, but it will hold kids' activity schedules in the fall). The board is also a dry erase board, so I've listed their weekly "commission" - and the breakdown of giving, saving and keeping.

Morning Routine:

This is the same for all of them and for each day, so I wrote it on the poster board. On Sunday, I will decide if they earned their stick for the week (meaning they did their morning routine without reminders all week). If they do not earn it, they do not get paid for any paid chores they may have done.

Evening Routine:

They love to spend time with Ed and me in the evenings - sitting & talking, playing games, reading books, etc. The sooner they complete their evening routine, the more time they get with us. We used to do room cleaning in the mornings, but it drives Ed batty to put the kids to bed in a messy room and I like the idea of teaching them to go to bed with their things tidy. They also have mom and dad time to look forward to which seems to be a much bigger incentive to work quickly than school time. Lol. Jake has had his room cleaned before dinner every night this week! *Hmmm .... I wonder which kid's love language is quality time??* :)

If I was going to do it again, I would write the days of the week at the top of each pocket (as they get covered up by the sticks where I wrote them). I was planning to use library pockets, but didn't have enough (and didn't want to spend money, remember?). I think they might look a bit more tidy (and I do like tidy!). Also, command hooks would hold the buckets better than the giant thumbtacks I used that leave equally giant holes in the wall (but, again, using what I already had). I would have also used a colored poster board instead of white. But, all of this is purely cosmetic. I plan to hang a file holder under the calendar to hold other papers we may need as well. Oh, the extra bucket up high holds dry erase markers, eraser, etc. I didn't want to be hunting for those when I need them!

It is working beautifully for us so far! I hope it helps some other mamas! If you have some ideas, PLEASE share in the comments! :)

2011-04-11T14:38:00.000-06:00

I have been MIA in blog-land for over three months now. This blog has suffered some droughts in the past, but none quite this long, I don't think!
I just haven't been myself lately. I love blogging and I really want to get back to it. This is the closest thing I have to a scrapbook. Blogging makes me think more about taking pictures and capturing sweet moments with my family. Hopefully, this is the start of getting back in the game! :)

I have been dreading this month since one year ago today when Jackson passed away.

I will never forget waking up at 3am April 11, 2010 in a panic about him. I truly believe God was telling me he was gone. I tried all morning to get him to move. I felt like I was going nuts, but desperate to feel him kick. By noon, I told Ed ... and life felt like it began swirling out of control from then on. One of the most painful memories of that day was watching Ed's face as my midwife moved the doppler around my belly, searching for a heartbeat. I will never forget the pain of watching his heart break into a million pieces when she didn't find one. It was almost as hard as losing my baby boy.
There are still some hard days left to get through this month, including Jackson's birthday on the 20th.
I know the first year is the hardest, so I'm looking forward to getting beyond that milestone. I trust that God is and will continue to bring good out of even this, the most painful heartbreak of my life.
We would covet your prayers for us this month!

Congratulations, Mr. & Mrs. Burns!

2011-01-08T11:40:00.000-06:00

Last night, my little brother, Erin got married!! We were so thrilled to be part of their special day. We're even more jazzed about *officially* welcoming Beth into our family!

All of the wedding festivities were wonderful. Everything went off without a hitch. The bride was beautiful - and the groom looked pretty good, too ;)

My kids did a great job as ring bearers and flower girls - and were adorable (or so I thought!). I can't wait to see some pictures. Somehow in the hustle and bustle of it all, I didn't get a single picture on my camera (or phone) :/ Hopefully, I'll have some to post soon.

I hope they had a great time and will always remember the love and devotion they felt yesterday. Even on the days they don't particularly like each other. :) I know they can't imagine a day like that right now, which is just as it should be.

We were so honored to be included and are so thrilled for them as they begin the amazing journey of marriage.

Congratulations, honeymooners! We love y'all and are very happy for you!

2010 from the rearview

2010-12-17T21:39:00.000-06:00

I'm cracking myself up over the title of this post. This year has felt a bit like a rear view, ifyouknowwhatImean.

For those of you who only visit my blog once a year, here's the recap ... if you'd like the abbreviated version, check facebook for my 'year in status updates.'

For the ladies, here's the longer, slightly more detailed version:

We won’t be sad to say goodbye to 2010. Even though a new year can't change circumstances, there are just some years that seem more deserving of a swift kick in the pants, ya know?

We began 2010 excited about Sustala baby #5 joining our family! We learned we were having a boy and named him Jackson Erin, after Ed’s grandfather, Pawpaw Jackson and my youngest brother, Erin. Sadly, Jackson was stillborn at 24 weeks due to a cord entanglement. As you can imagine, it has been a difficult journey to grieve the loss of our little boy. As always, God has been present in every detail. His hand has been evident at every turn. I’ve tried to write about our grief and the journey of faith it has required on this blog in hopes that it may one day minister to someone else. This has been the loneliest journey of my life – even though I know I'm not alone. Ed and I are both surprised at just how difficult losing Jackson still is – even eight months later. The pain that lingers is not something we could have anticipated. Our children have struggled through this in their own ways – they mention Jackson frequently and say often they wish he had lived. Jadyn got upset when I was talking with a woman I didn't know. When she asked how many children I have, I answered, "Two boys & two girls." (I don’t feel comfortable burdening everyone I meet with what happened) Jadyn exclaimed, “MOM! You have THREE boys!!!” Awkward…but precious nonetheless. It warms my heart how they embrace him as part of our family. In the picture above, Jordan is holding our "Jackson-bear" because we wanted him represented somehow.
This year also marked having three official homeschoolers! That has been quite the adventure, but still remains a beautiful, wonderful fit for our family. I have enjoyed the time I get to spend with each of the kids one-on-one as well as the time we have together as a family. The flexibility it provides has come in very handy (again) this year as well!

The kids have had a busy year. Jordan (10) joined a homeschool choir called Joyful Sound! I continue to be amazed at the doors God opens for her! She gets to do her two favorite things: sing and dance! She has also had a lot of orthodontic work – which will continue next year with braces, as we work to correct her under bite and hopefully improve articulation.
Jacob (8 ½) has taken his soccer interest to a new level, playing junior select soccer. He loves the professional coaching and the seriousness of the players. If he sees a ball, you can bet his feet are on it - juggling, kicking, something! He continues to excel in academics, especially math. He is in his second year of cub scouts, as a bear.
Jadyn (5 ½) is in Kindergarten and is into all things creative. She has been lucky enough to participate in one of the Joyful Sound! show choirs with Jordan as well as taking gymnastics.
Jace (2 1/2) is a short and stocky, happy, extremely busy little guy who loves music, trains, balls and anything his big sisters and brother are doing! He makes us laugh every single day. It took him a while to start talking in more than single syllable words, but now we can't shut him up!

Despite (or more likely because of) the heartbreak this year, we have been able to get away a little. Ed and I went to San Antonio a couple times, went to Dallas and made a trip to Chicago. We also rented a beach house in Galveston with the kids in May, which was just heavenly!! It was so wonderful, we're hoping to make it an annual event.

We are ending this year bitter sweetly...
Bitterly, we are saying goodbye to Ed’s sister, Stacey & her family as they move to Southeast Asia. It’s a wonderful opportunity for their family, so we are excited for them, but sad for ourselves!
We are also working on repairs to our house after a recent flooding episode. You can read more about that here. :/
Sweetly, we are looking forward to my brother, Erin’s wedding in three weeks!! We are honored to participate in the day as a bridesmaid, groomsman, flower girls and ring bearers :) We look forward to ‘officially’ welcoming Beth into our family!

As difficult as this year has been, we know God only has good plans for us – and He will be faithful to bring good even out of our suffering. We pray that you will sense His blessings and provision in your lives as well!

Merry Christmas, blog friends!

No grey matter here!

2010-12-08T21:57:00.000-06:00

As has become customary, it is feast or famine around this blog!

Very little grey matter here. :)

Here's the high (and low) lights of the last few weeks.

The day after Thanksgiving, our family was decorating for Christmas. About half-way through decorating the tree, Ed said, "Why are there wet footprints on the floor???"

We searched for the cause of wetness - checking the usual places: Jace's diaper (the kid has serious talent) and wet socks. No dice. Then, Jake exclaims, "Dad! There's a giant puddle over there!"

*cue parent freak out*

The puddle appears to be coming from our bedroom/bathroom, so naturally Ed runs that direction. To find our bedroom carpet and bathroom floor soaking wet along with dripping water coming from our closet ceiling. :)
Its beginning to look a lot like ~~Christmas!~~ a big ol' mess!

Ed runs upstairs to the bathroom above ours where he discovers a flooded bathroom which clearly originated from a sink that had the drain plugged (by a washcloth), the water turned on full blast (and of course, the door closed). The water ran from the bathroom to Jace's room on one side and the gameroom (AKA our school room) on the other :/

All eyes immediately turn to Jadyn. Funny (or not) how in times like that, everyone knows exactly who the culprit is. In most homes, you might assume the two year old. Cause two year olds do stuff like that.
In our home, we have a Jadyn. Cute as a button she may be. But the child does not think through her actions. She is impulsive, creative and curious - not a good combination. I've decided that God has provided Jadyn to be sure I never become prideful as a parent.   :/

Long story short - the majority of our carpet has to be replaced along with the {brand new} hard wood floors in our family room as well as some sheet rock, paint & door frame repairs. Mostly a giant inconvenience at the most expensive time of year - and, y'all, homeowner deductibles are freaking high!!! I guess since Ed works in auto insurance and I think of the typical auto deductible being around $500, I just assumed it would be $500 - $1000.   La la land is where I was a livin!   Wish I could go back! ;)

The other biggies around here - I can't remember if I've mentioned or not, but Jordan joined a Christian homeschool choir called Joyful Sound! Amazing that she can be included in such a thing ... just another example of how God continues to open doors for her that I couldn't have imagined ten years ago! Not only is Jordan in the choir, but she is also in one of the show choirs, so she gets to do her two favorite things - sing AND dance! :) It turned out they were in need of another child in the show choir and Jadyn just happened to be in the back at rehearsal, learning the dance, so her lucky little self got to join the show choir for the Christmas performance, even though she's not technically quite old enough!!
At any rate, Joyful Sound! does ministry concerts the first two weeks of December - all over Houston to all sorts of people/groups/places. We are talking about 3-6 concerts per DAY! Amazing outreach to so many - and I was beyond excited to participate this year.  The girls were loving every minute of it!
A couple days into ministry season, Jordan was struck by a stomach virus. Thankfully, it only lasted a couple days, but as soon as she was well, it hit me, Jace and Jadyn - and by yesterday Jake was in the mix as well :( Its been a long week, but everyone appears to be on the mend (assuming Ed doesn't become the final victim!).   The worst part has been missing so many concerts.   We still have the big Christmas concert this weekend and next week for ministry, so still plenty to look forward to!

I hope things are a little less eventful at your place :)

Family Pictures

2010-10-21T14:45:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago, we had our family pictures made by Joe Heiliger. He will forever have a special place in my heart.

In addition to having his own photography business, Joe is also a volunteer photographer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep - a worldwide organization that ministers to parents suffering the loss of a baby through free professional photography services. Our family was blessed in a way I can't even describe by Joe and NILMDTS!

Getting family pictures made was bittersweet for me, but we included our "Jackson-bear." He is a favorite with the kids and it seemed appropriate to represent him. We could not have asked for more beautiful weather and the pictures turned out great! These are a couple of my favorites:

Our beautiful family

Adorable kiddos
Jacob, Jace, Jadyn, Jordan

Oh, how I love my family! I feel immensely blessed and thankful!

Six Months

2010-10-20T06:00:00.030-06:00

Six months can seem like a lifetime. Or the blink of an eye.

These past six months have been a mixture of both for me. It feels like a lifetime of swimming in a turbulent sea of grief ... and like the blink of an eye since I held my baby boy for the first and only time.

It sure seems like six months ought to be long enough.

It ought to be long enough that the thought of Jackson doesn't bring tears to me eyes.

It ought to be long enough that I don't get choked up writing about him.

It ought to be long enough that I don't think about every "first" without him.

It ought to be long enough that my arms don't still ache to hold him.

It ought to be long enough that I don't feel a lump in my throat at the sight of a pregnant mama.

It ought to be long enough that seeing my children together doesn't remind me he's missing.

It ought to be long enough that I don't still cry myself to sleep some nights.

It ought to be long enough that the sight of a new baby boy doesn't take my breath away.

It ought to be long enough that I don't flinch when I hear the joyous news of another baby's arrival.

It ought to be long enough that anniversaries don't feel so painfully raw.

It ought to be long enough.

It just ought to be.

But, it's not. At least not for me.

And that's OK. 'Cause six months have passed in the blink of an eye.

I love you with all my mommy-heart, Jackson Erin. I will never forget you - or stop missing you. Until I hold you in my arms again.

"Journey with Jordan" 2010

2010-10-08T11:57:00.000-06:00

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. If you read my blog, you're probably already aware of Down Syndrome. Our goal is to make everyone aware of what is possible despite Down Syndrome.

October is also that time of year when we start looking forward to the annual Buddy Walk!

We had an incredible "Journey with Jordan" team last year and I'm hoping we can pull it off again this year!

This year the walk is FREE to participate in! We would be honored if you would join "Journey with Jordan" Saturday, November 6, 2010 @ 1pm at Jones Plaza in Downtown Houston. Even if you aren't available to walk, please consider supporting our team through a donation!

Check out our Buddy Walk page here to register to walk and/or donate: https://www.syssolutions.com/fr/DSAH/2010BuddyWalk/JourneywithJordan

Thank you for supporting our beautiful Jordan and in helping us raising awareness about Down Syndrome!

10 Years

2010-09-22T06:51:00.003-06:00

I can hardly believe it. I have a 10 year old!

This beautiful, amazing, silly, wonderful, smart girl came into my life 10 years ago today and while sadness and grief reigned for the night, JOY came in the morning!
She is, in many ways, a constant reminder of God's goodness. Of His provision. Of His mercies and love. When I think back to this day ten years ago, I am reminded of the immense sadness I felt about her diagnosis. But, I'm also reminded of the love for her that washed over me. A powerful love like I could not have imagined before that day. I'm so blessed to have experienced the power of that love with four more children. But, my sweet Jordan was the beginning of it all.

I love you so much, Jordan-bug! Happy 10th Birthday, Beautiful!

Organized Mom Series: Part 4: Organized Places

2010-09-20T10:36:00.004-06:00

First of all, I want to say that I am blown away by the response from this series! Thank you for the encouragement and I'm so glad it is helping so many of you!   I'm running low on ideas, so if you have some topics you'd like me to talk about, let me know.

Now, for organizing all the stuff!

I like the things that live in my home to have a home. A place to be when not in use. I know people that are far more rigid about this than I am and others that are far more lax about it. Which must make me the "happy medium." :) We are all different and just like everything else we've talked about in this series, the important thing is finding what works for your family in a way that lines up with the priorities God has for you. For me, its about teaching my kids to be good stewards of what we own; making things easy to find when we need them, while keeping the clutter to a minimum.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that cleaning out closets or drawers, organizing, creating storage solutions, etc is like pure therapy for me. When I'm stressed, I clean stuff out! I purge, I move things around, I reorganize, I straighten ... and then ... I feel all better. Or at least a little better. {Guess what I've been doing like crazy the past few months? ahem.}

I recognize its my way of coping with things I can't control.

Like life.

But, I digress.

Generally speaking, I like to keep 'like with like' and store it near where it is used/needed. Say, for example, dishes in the kitchen and toilet paper in the bathroom ... that kind of thing. :)   Its not rocket science, but sometimes it does require some thought.

I also try to have a purpose in mind for each room. Obviously, most rooms have an implied purpose, but I try to zoom in on that a bit. Basically a way for me to evaluate what goes into the room. For example, in our study, we have a large bookcase that houses most of our books and games as well as my craft supplies and some office supplies. If it doesn't fit into one of those categories (or isn't pretty to look at it), it has to live somewhere else.   I try to keep my laundry room down to things used for small storage, cleaning, laundry or getting out the door.   Rooms can quickly become dumping grounds if they don't have some "ground rules."

Not only do I like tidy, but I married a man who also prefers it. He's worse than me. If he had his rathers, our house would not look like children live in it. Let's just say he's not a fan of toys-strewn-about. Or play kitchens in the breakfast room. Or playdoh on the table. Or toys out-of-place.

Fan or not, this is his current reality. But, in the spirit of happily-ever-after, I try to appease him as much as possible. We usually do a quick ~~put-everything-away-that-appears-childlike~~ straighten before he comes home in the evening. And, I've found that as long as the family room is tidy, he endures the rest.
At the end of the day, I want him to find our home peaceful and relaxing; a haven. We keep our library books and video games in the family room, but otherwise, child-paraphernalia is housed elsewhere.

Which I think is sorta funny ... I mean it is called the family room after all!   :)

And lest he sound like an ogre, Ed is a really fun dad. He just likes to pretend the kids don't exist after they hit the hay. :) Its how he unwinds. So, even though I may not totally understand his need, I still try to respect it.
I'm up for sharing room-by-room organization/storage ideas - if anyone is interested. If there's a particular place you want details on, say the word. I'm not an expert by any means, but I do enjoy it and I'll happily share what works for me!

From Jacob

2010-09-20T10:05:00.000-06:00

Hi, this is Jacob. My mom said I could write a note on her blog. I am selling popcorn for cub scouts. If you want to buy some click here http://www.trails-end.com/estore/home_alt.jsp?_requestid=793849
Thank you for helping me!

Jacob

Blinded

2010-09-02T06:25:00.000-06:00

I find it interesting that things can be so hidden in plain sight. How, once revealed, they seem so obvious and unmistakable. Yet, they were unseen.

I think God knows how much truth we can handle. For a level of maturity, a season or even our whole lives. He knows how easily we get overwhelmed. Certainly, if he had shown me 20 years ago that this would be my life, I would have run screaming the other direction. I wouldn't have felt capable. I might have ended up in the belly of a whale. Or something. I am thankful He reveals little pieces at a time. Because small pieces are still a lot to take in! And, I'm grateful He is faithful to equip us for the journey He calls us to. Even though I still wanna run screaming some days! :)

There have been two overriding themes of God's work in my life the past couple years that have come into laser focus the last few months. One centers around lies about God I have bought into. Lies that I think are perpetuated by the church. By 'the church,' I'm referring to the modern, American Christian church as a whole. The other is about me. Me, me, me, me, me and me. Selfishness. Interestingly enough, God has intertwined the two and revealed just how selfishly I view Him!

The past few years, I've grown weary of church. I don't mean the building or even the people.   I mean all the canned, Americanized answers for God. All the legalism disguised and described as faith, obedience and blessings.   Everything tied up with a nice, neat little bow - while anything that doesn't fit in the little box gets ignored. The idea that if we just do it all right enough then nothing but "blessings" will come into our lives. That somehow if we live right enough, God will protect us from bad things. The idea that somehow we earn what we get.

The problem with this thinking is that A) Its not Biblical. Minor detail. We are not capable of doing it right enough.  Hence, Jesus! B) We also have to own the reverse lie - that when bad things do happen, it must be because I wasn't righteous or obedient enough.   And C) That good/bad are measured merely by how it makes me feel. If I don't like it, it must be bad and if I do like it or it makes me feel good, then it must be good (or a blessing). Because no blessing of mine would show up feeling bad!

Do you see the selfishness wrapped up in this thinking? Its all about ME!! It shows itself in the way we view and handle difficulties, inconveniences and problems. In the way we view the positive things in our lives - when we become prideful in believing that we somehow deserve the good we have. In the way we pray, asking for what makes us feel good. Even in the ways we worship - we want to feel good in worship, we want it to be entertaining or "right" enough for our standards! In the way we view the role of church in our lives. Isn't it frequently about what we can get out of it? How it makes us feel, what activities they provide for us or our children; how entertained we are during the services.  How much we like the people. We expect the church to teach us all we need to know about the Lord. We want to show up on Sunday, have a nice time, feel good, look good and go home without an ounce of energy to expend in our relationship with God.  All the while, expecting nothing but blessings to rain down. Because as Americans, we are into the idea of convenience. In all things. Including our faith. Our churches have bought into it as well - they entertain us, so we'll show up. They provide more and more activities so our kids will show up. They water down the Scriptures so it feels good - and we don't have to be convicted. Its a vicious cycle! When the teaching doesn't come back around to reveal the selfishness that grips our hearts, we end up with even more of it! And the cycle continues.

That's not to say there aren't profound blessings when we live according to God's will. I believe there are also difficult consequences that result from living outside of His will. But, being a Christian isn't so much about following rules or feeling good - its about a relationship with a Savior that we can't live without! Its about living in accordance with what He has called us to, as unique individuals. To live out the priorities He has in mind for us - whether they are convenient and cozy or not! About living our lives in a way that brings glory to God, even if it means something less than pleasure for us. About living out our faith, rather than expecting it to live out in spite of us! It isn't always pretty. It doesn't always feel good. I believe that God IS good and that His plans are only for good. But good in our economy is so different from God's! The Bible says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD." Isaiah 55:8 Just because something doesn't feel good to us, doesn't mean it is not good! Our emotions are fickle and untrustworthy! We cannot rely on them to guide our faith. If we trust that God is good, then we trust it when blessings overflow AND in our deepest pains. Even when our human minds can't begin to comprehend our circumstances as good.

I struggled after Jordan was born with this whole concept. That somehow Jordan having Down Syndrome and a heart defect was a result of my sins. It was all about ME. I always knew it wasn't a mistake. That God wasn't looking down, saying, "Uh.Oh!" But, it didn't occur to me until a few years later that God may have specific purposes in creating her the way He did. Purposes bigger than my wants and desires. Plans to bring glory to Himself. He began to reframe it for me - to reveal that being Jordan's mom was a privilege - not just because I love her - but because I get a front row seat to see His hand at work.

I struggle again with Jackson's death. Differently this time, but still with the selfishness. I can't help but wonder, Why? Why even create him in the first place? Its easy to stand back and look at our culture and see the entitlement mentality; the pervasive consummation with self. But, to stand back and see it in my faith? Wow, that was hard. God has graciously given me a glimpse of His purposes with Jackson. A purpose that I could not have imagined in a million years. And, here's the kicker ... it has absolutely nothing to do with ME!!! Don't think that little revelation didn't send me into a tailspin. On the one hand, I was praising God for revealing purpose for my precious little boy. Purpose in why He created Jackson - and purpose in why he died when he did. What a gift!! An expected, beautiful gift that I wouldn't have even asked for. And yet, at the end of it, I was left with this ... How can this NOT be about ME? He's MY baby!

I don't have all the answers. I can't explain it away. I certainly can't wrap it up in a nice neat little package that feels good for me or anyone else. All I know is that not everything is about me. Even when it feels like it should be. At the end of the day, its all about God bringing about His plans, His purposes and receiving His glory! And since God has chosen this journey for us, I want to walk it out in a way that honors Him! A way that glorifies Him.

Reading is always therapeutic for me and here are a couple books that are helping me work some of this out.

I recently finished Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl

by Lysa TerKeurst - I highly recommend it. Especially if you're like me and fed up with canned, feel-good Christianity.

I've also started Radical by David Platt. This one will rock your world! Its a MUST READ for every believer!!!!

We need a fresh look at Christianity. At God. God has so much more in store than just US! I don't know about you, but I'm kinda tired of ME!

Gettin' Fancy with Downloads!

2010-08-21T15:28:00.000-06:00

If you've been reading my Organized Mom Series, you may have noticed that I've done a lot of explaining about my schedules and "worksheets" I've created online.

I am happy to say that I figured out how to upload my documents so that you can just click a link and see them! If they are helpful to you, feel free to use them. You should be able to manipulate the data to make the forms work for you. Or just use them as a bouncing off point to create your own!

This is my fall homeschool file. I mentioned that I have several schedules that revolve around our homeschool. This file contains my schedules & planners for school, plus our Daily Schedule & Chore List! Even though I call it my "homeschool" file - there are some charts that can be useful to anyone! (I have Jordan's NACD program and a schedule for her program activities in this file as well, but they are not included in this uploaded version).
*Disclaimer: Even though our days are scheduled, it doesn't mean this is what each day really looks like. We have interruptions, inconveniences and illnesses just like everyone else! This is just the goal for normal weeks. {whatever those are} Mainly, its my way of keeping me focused! :)

This is another school planner I used a couple years ago ... when we had fewer subjects and fewer students :) I put it in a 3 ring binder so that when it was open, I could see both pages at once, side by side.
This is my menu planner. Very basic :)
This is the Weekly Overview Chart I created (based on Kat's (at Inspired to Action) - in her e-book, Maximize Your Mornings)

I put my kids' Morning Routine/Chore Charts in a page protector and they use a dry erase marker to check off as they go. Here are the different ways I do them based on age/reading skills. When Jordan was younger, I cut out a picture of each item, put Velcro on the back and she had a place to actually move the item to a finished column. You teacher-y types may know that as a "picture schedule." At least that's what Jordan's Pre-K teacher called it. ;)
Jacob's Morning Routine/Chore Chart

Jadyn's Morning Routine/Chore Chart

I love to create charts and worksheets that work for my family! Finding organizational systems online or in stores is one thing, but each family is unique in their needs, so many times creating your own gives you a system that works better.
Let me know if you find these helpful!

Organized Mom Series: Part 3 ~ Meal Planning

2010-08-17T09:00:00.000-06:00

Find Part 1 ~ Maximize Your Mornings {here}

and Part 2 ~ Schedules {here}

This one may seem like a pain in the tush, but it makes life much easier!
I may be an organization-nerd, but it does have its rewards. This is one of them. I've long been a menu planner of some sort. It was rather crude for many years, but worked fine while my family was smaller. Feeding a family of six, however, requires some organization in order to avoid fast food outings and frozen pizzas. Trying to provide healthy food also requires planning. Feeding a family of 6 healthy food? Well, you get the picture.

"She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." Proverbs 31: 15-17

I mentioned in the first two posts of this series (about mornings and schedules) that I plan time for planning. That may sound funny - but our days, homeschooling and meals all require a bit of planning in order for things to run smoothly. I spend five minutes each morning planning my day. Since we have schedules in place, its quick and only requires me to think about things outside of our normal routine and things on my (never-ending) to-do list.

I also spend about an hour each week planning meals.

There are many blogs that discuss in great detail how and why to plan meals. Check out my Homemaking Help tab at the top for some good links.

I'm sure you will be shocked to learn I use a *binder* for meal planning! {I warned you about the binders}
I keep my most-used recipes in the binder along with weekly meal plan sheets - which are just 'worksheets' I created on the computer that lists each day, a space for the meals (and page # from a cookbook when necessary) as well as a separate column for prep work needed. So, if I'm making something on Tuesday that requires meat to be thawed, I add "thaw meat" in the "prep" box for Monday. That way when Tuesday at 5pm rolls around, I don't have to waste time thawing meat or thinking up Plan B! Because many of the soaked grain foods I make require several days to prepare (when you count making yogurt, soaking the grains and then actually cooking the food), this prep column is a huge 'think-saver' for me! :)
This is the food prep I do in the mornings while preparing/cleaning up breakfast. I also *try* to prep lunch and snacks then as well. I've found it saves time, keeps clean-up throughout the day to a minimum and just generally makes the day run smoother.

The menu isn't set in stone - I frequently move things around based on time, mood, etc. But, if its planned, I know I have all the necessary ingredients on hand and conveniently, I don't have to think as much. Which you may have noticed is the driving force for me! :) {I'm pretty sure that babies suck brain cells - and do so at an increasing rate the further down the birth order they are, so after 5 babies ~~& turning 40 in December,~~ my brain cells are in short supply!!} It also makes it simple for Ed on the weekends to jump in and help out with meals. Most Saturdays, he makes breakfast for the kids - 'cause he's dreamy and amazing like that - and our meal plan makes it easy for him to know what to prepare.

As I'm scheduling, I keep my calendar handy and consider our schedule for each day. We generally go to the 8:30 service at church on Sunday mornings, so Sunday breakfasts are fast & simple. Tuesdays this fall we won't be home for dinners, due to kids' activities, so I will be planning take-along meals (using Easy Lunch Boxes! These babies are a homeschooler's dream, cause I don't know very many homeschoolers that spend all day at home! Go figure.). If we are entertaining or going to someone else's house for dinner - that is reflected on my plan. And you can bet, I schedule snacky lunches!! I also plan to use left overs. Once the plan is in place, making a grocery list is a breeze! {The shopping, on the other hand ... well ... that's a whole 'nother story ...}
All of this planning takes about an hour. But it saves me much more than that throughout the week by not having to think about what to do for every.single.meal, by streamlining food prep, not spending more time or money than necessary at the store, and by not hitting the drive thru more often than necessary.

{Funny just how often Chic Fil A is necessary}

I've found planning a week at a time works best for me - and my meal plan runs from Thursday to Wednesday (because Wednesday is my grocery shopping day). I know some moms that like to plan two weeks at a time or even a month at a time. There are lots of moms who cook once a month and use food from the freezer for meals. There are whole cookbooks, websites and blogs devoted to that idea! Some moms double everything they make and freeze the extra for another meal. Its not double the work, because you are already cooking. The important thing is finding a streamlined process that makes feeding your family
easier!

Choose a plan and see if it doesn't save you lots of time and energy! {And by energy, I mean the kind that requires your noggin}

"Jell-O" Shapes

2010-08-15T13:00:00.000-06:00

I avoid artificial colors as much as possible. Jell-O, unfortunately falls into the avoid catagory for our family which bums our kids.

But, I recently noticed this recipe on the back of the Knox Gelatin box:

So, we used it along with these:

To make these:

The shapes didn't turn out that great but the kids had a blast - and that's what it was all about!

Snacky Lunches

2010-08-14T10:00:00.006-06:00

A few months ago, I started giving my kids "snacky" lunches. These are the easiest lunches on the planet. Basically, anything goes - and typically its void of food that requires preparation. Some things we use: crackers or chips and hummus, tuna salad, veggies, fruit, cheese ... basically snacky or finger foods. Its a hit! I usually like to add a smoothie to the mix as well. Recently, I've seen some moms in blogland doing lunch in muffin pans (complete with themes) - using each muffin cup for a different kind of finger food. Its a cute idea, especially for the preschool crowd. But, I'm not washing four muffin pans after lunch. I'm just lazy like that :)

A few weeks ago, I found these divided trays at HEB for $1 and knew the kids would love them for snacky lunches (especially since they haven't seen the muffin pan idea). This is all the rage for lunch time around the Sustala house!!

Organized Mom Series: Part 2 ~ Schedules

2010-08-13T09:22:00.004-06:00

If you missed Part 1: Maximize Your Mornings - check it out here.

Please keep in mind my heart about this. I want to help - not burden or frustrate. This is not about condemning anyone. Just about helping organize life in a way that works for me ... and can hopefully help someone else!

Does the word "schedule" make you feel secure and confident ... or frustrated and restricted?

I'm sure you can guess where I fall. I've admited, I like systems and routines. I think schedules fit into that. But, schedules only work if they work for you! I look at schedules as a guideline. A routine. A direction to head in. Even a goal to shoot for (in terms of what can be accomplished in a day). I always build in flexibility and "down time." I don't always get everything accomplished, but I get far more done than when I don't have a routine to follow!

My theory on schedules is a bit like Dave Ramsey's theory on budgets. He says to budget every penny so that you are telling your money where to go. Even without a budget, your money still gets spent. The question is, was it spent wisely? The same can be said of the hours in our days. If we don't "budget" (or schedule) our time, it will still get spent. But, was it spent wisely? Ouch. Even with schedules, I still spend far too much time unwisely!

As moms, we generally have a lot to accomplish. For me, managing a home, raising four children, homeschooling and commitments outside our home can only get accomplished with a schedule. Without one, I'm frustrated and constantly feeling like I can never get it all done.

Sometimes those feelings creep up because I'm doing more than God intends for me. I would encourage you to pray about the priorities God has for you. There are SO many things - many very GOOD things - that our days get filled with. But, if they aren't the things God intends, we will always be frustrated. If this is an area you struggle in, I would encourage you to spend some time working on a mission statement. Being a mom is a position of leadership and as such, we need direction. I'm a huge believer in being intentional in our roles! I don't want to spend a lot of time on this, because it could be a post all its own, and there are others who have written about the benefits of having a mission statement and how to write one. If you are interested, go here and here (family mission statement).

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

Once you have a handle on what your priorities are, its easy to make a list of all that needs to be accomplished in a week. For my days to be productive, I need things planned out, so that when I've finished one thing, I can move on to the next without getting distracted!!! That doesn't mean I don't stop and play with my kids or read them a book - it just means I don't get distracted by the four gazillion other things that need to be done around here. The work will never be done. So, rather than focusing on trying to do everything, we need to focus on being as productive as we can today.

Since I quite like schedules, I have several! You schedule-haters probably see that as a wee bit OCD, don't you? ;) For me schedules are a way to squeeze more time out of my day, to be more productive than when I try the fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants approach. I use one schedule for the week, one for the kids' chores and several that revolve around our homeschool.

I'm going to break them down - for those of you who want more detail (Lord, help you!) :)

If I was a fancy blogger, I would download my schedules, but alas, fancy is not a word that describes me in any area of my life, so you'll just have to work with a description. Lucky you :)

My weekly schedule is basically the routine for the kids and me. It is broken down into days: Mon - Fri. I don't include Sat or Sun because those days tend to be less ... {ahem} ... scheduled - or at the very least differently scheduled week to week. I don't change this schedule based on things that comes up - it is just our normal routine for ordinary weeks. Basically, it keeps me focused on the priorities!

I use an Excel spreadsheet that lists my entire day in time blocks. Notice I didn't say minutes or even hours. Its in chunks, because days with kids rarely go as "scheduled." IthinkyouknowwhatImean. If you schedule every minute, you'll end up with a schedule that's blown by 8am ... and frustrated, blaming it on the schedule when you should, in fact, be blaming the schedulER. Did I just say that out loud?

My time blocks change as seasons of life change. I list my morning routine (which I shared in Part 1) - but in my 7-8:30am slot, I list not only making breakfast, prepping food for the day and fixing my girls' hair but also my chores for the day. (I'm pretty sure hair fixing will not be listed on boy-mom schedules - consider yourselves 15-20 minutes ahead of us multiple-long-haired-girl moms ;) )

To determine my chores, I figure out what needs to be done each week. Then decide what can be done by children. Cause I'm a big believer in child labor like that. :) I break the remaining things down, making sure to take into consideration what else is going on that day. So, for example, I just finished creating my weekly schedule for the fall. Mondays and Tuesdays are going to be busier than other days with outside activities, so I scheduled fewer chores for those days.

I schedule in school time and break it down by which kiddo I'm working with one-on-one, even though I have a more detailed school schedule separate from this. The other thing I do (which probably does inch into the OCD catagory) is color code my kids. This started as the easiest way to avoid fights over who-got-what-cup in the toddler years. Jordan has always loved green and Jake, blue. Those became "their" colors years ago. Jadyn has adopted pink (which is really quite fitting for her) and Jace pretty much gets whatever is left over - usually orange or red. Since he's not in my schedule, I haven't nailed down a color for him yet :) Jordan's activities are highlighted in green, Jake's in blue, etc. I use this on their chore lists as well. Everyone in our family can glance at lists and know immediately who has what. That might be over the top for some of you, and that's ok. You can still be organized without color coding your children (even if I don't see how) :)

Speaking of children, let's chat about their schedules.

My oldest 3 each have a "Morning Routine and chore list" hanging on their wall in their rooms. I have the 'master' copy (so to speak) of the chore list hanging on the inside of our pantry door (so I alwasy know what they are supposed to do). For their "morning routine" - they each: Get dressed, make bed, brush teeth and clean room.

Then, they each have chores to do. Everyone puts their own clothes away and helps fold laundry. Yes, I've had to give up the days of perfectly folded (and neatly placed in drawers) laundry. But, I try to remember that one day there won't be any little kid clothes to fold neatly and I'll be sad about it. At least that's what I hear. In the meantime, I just avoid looking in their drawers. :)

They also take turns being the Kitchen Helper (or 'Sous Chef' as Jakey likes to refer to himself ). This basically means that they are my helper in the kitchen for the day - helping prepare meals, loading/unloading the dishwasher, setting & clearing the table, etc. I find it simpler than trying to schedule turns for all those things individually & it provides them a chance to learn some kitchen/cooking skills. Each one of them has 2 days/week - except Jadyn who has 3 (because she has Saturday and Sunday, which tend to be less-time-in-the-kitchen days).

As for their chores: sweeping, cleaning toilets & sinks (I do tubs & mirrors), dusting and cleaning glass tables, watering plants, trash, cleaning out the car, cleaning up the backyard, etc. These are divided up among them, so none of them have all that many to do. I try really hard to give them chores they don't totally mind. For example, Jake doesn't prefer dusting and the girls actually enjoy it, so I try to balance things out like that. And, we switch them around as necessary and as abilities warrant. Jace has no "official" chores yet - but he's a rockstar when it comes to cleaning his room!! Probably because he's number 4 and wants to be like the big kids.
My schedule includes time to plan and prep school stuff, quiet time for everyone and free time. All necessities! :) Being a homeschool mom, one thing that is hard to come by is time without children in your face (or on your leg) ... so during Jace's naps, the other kids have quiet time in their rooms. They can play quietly, rest, read - I don't really care. As long as I don't hear or see them :)

School schedules: I shared about a lot of our school stuff in this post. As for scheduling, I have a binder! {*shock*} I have a wish list and these dividers: Daily Plans, Weekly Plans, Monthly Plans, Annual Plans, Curriculum.

Seems like overkill, I know. But, it gives me a place to jot down ideas - whether its a unit study or lapbook idea, a curriculum I want to research, goals, needs, etc. Having everything in one place keeps things streamlined when it comes to planning. The main sections I use on a regular basis are Daily Plans & Weekly Plans. In my daily plans, I have a list of all the subjects I want each of the kids to cover on each day of the week. This is the routine of schoolwork, not a list that changes daily. I also have a schedule for Jordan that has her NACD program broken down into time chunks.

In my Weekly Plans, I have a copy of my weekly schedule along with a master copy of our weekly lesson planning sheet. So, when its time for me to work 1:1 with one of the kids, I can look at my planning sheet to see what I should be doing with them. It sounds more complicated that it really is. Basically I created a sheet that lists the subjects to cover with each of the kids, then each week, I write in the page #s or lesson #s to complete. This list also includes sections where I write in prep work that is required for the week and library books we'll need. That way, when we start the week, we (ideally!) have everything we need!

For Monthly Plans, I just have a calendar with extra space to write. I fill in days-off from school and list priorities and goals for the month. Because things are always changing, this keeps me focused on their individual needs and things that need extra focus. I also jot down ideas for unit studies, lapbooks and books to read that I think of.
Annual Plans has my calendar for the year with our plan for school days. Scheduled breaks for holidays, etc are filled in.
The Curriculum section is where I jot down ideas I want to look into for the next year.
None of the sections are more than a page or two, but it still gives me a place to keep all of our plans and ideas together.
I think that covers the schedules we keep. Another very long post but I hope it helps!

Shout!

2010-08-13T07:37:00.000-06:00

Have you seen the commercials for the Shout Color Catcher sheets? For moms with a gazillion loads of laundry each week, it looks like a dream come true. No sorting? Better yet - no single item load for those new brightly colored clothes that bleed all over everything like crazy? Call me sold!
I gave the Shout sheets the ultimate test yesterday.
My mother-in-law bought my girls some hot pink jackets. Nothing says, "Wash me ALONE" like brand new hot pink clothing.
I followed the directions for my front load washer - placed the sheet in a mesh delicates bag and placed that in the back of the drum before loading clothes. I also used 2 sheets, as recommended (and in hopes of better protecting the whites I was bravely tossing in).

The white Shout sheets that went into my washer came out looking like this:

That's a good sign!

Several white socks came out ... white!

But, others came out like this:

And this:

And, the ultimate disappointment:

Pink splotches on Ed's under shirt. Something tells me he's not really gonna dig that. :)

Thankfully, its nothing a bleach pen can't take care of, but what a bummer.

Obviously, the sheets absorb color - and I did include (*gasp!*) one of Ed's pale blue Polo shirts. I'm telling you, I had faith in these babies! :) {Honey, your shirt is splotchless!}

My advice? If you want to give them a try, and you're washing the brand-new-hot-pink stuff (or red!), maybe skip adding the whites. But then, that sorta defeats the pupose, doesn't it?

Organized Mom Series: Part 1 ~ Maximize Your Mornings

2010-08-07T09:34:00.027-06:00

Alrighty - here we go! I thought we'd start with the first part of the day ... mornings!

As I said in this post, I'm sharing what I do to keep my home organized and help things run smoothly {most days :)}. In hopes that it may help someone else. Not because I think I've got all the answers.  This isn't about the right or wrong.  Just about what works for me. What works for me right now. Its ever changing! My hope is that we can all learn from each other. If you have tips or ideas that work for you, share them!  I'd love to see some discussion happening in blog-land and/or in the comments!
As we work through this series, you'll learn that I don't have a lot of original ideas.  Just keepin' it real. :) I try to learn as much as I can from other women - so as to not waste time "reinventing the wheel." Some things I do, came about through trial and error. Other things just evolved over time. Many things I've copied from other women and tweaked to work for me :)

This generation of moms has a huge advantage with technology. We can learn from women we've never met and get inspiration and ideas from friends that are thousands of miles away. There are a gazillion resources online for women. So, take advantage of those!  But, be careful as well. Being online can consume an outrageous amount of time. I know. I've wasted more hours than I care to confess on the computer. Find a way to control the time you spend online so that it doesn't take away from the priorities God is leading you in. For me, getting a blackberry did the trick. I can still check email (and facebook :) ), but without getting sucked in for hours. Then, I can use my desktop during planned times.
Also be mindful of comparing yourself to other women. Again, we are all different. On purpose and for a purpose! Focus on who God wants you to be - using your strengths and gifts. Measure yourself against what God is calling you to do not against what you see as perfection in the online (or real) world. I'm reminding myself of this as well. Its way too easy for us as women to feel like we are falling short if we aren't doing what Suzy is doing. But, God doesn't call us to be like Suzy. He calls us to be like Him ... and to do the work He has set before each of us as individuals. Don't lose sight of that!

The most important aspect of organizing your home, is making sure you are seeking God's will. Ask Him to align your priorities with His will.  He will be faithful to do so!

Back to the topic of Mornings. For some of us, we love mornings. We get more accomplished before 10 am than other people do all day. Yes, we are morning people. Others cringe at the mere mention of morning. The word should not be included in the English language. Or any other language, for that matter. The day should never, ever begin before noon. :)

For all of us, I recommend an amazing resource called Maximize Your Mornings by Kat at Inspired to Action. It is a FREE e-book. I would encourage you to download it and read it right now! Whether you are a morning person or a night owl, I think it offers very real benefits to being up in the mornings as well as a very simple plan for making it happen. She also offers simple planning ideas for Bible study and organizing your day and to do list(s). I'm a list maker, so I dig that. :) Kat has also written a blog series about Maximize Your Mornings that is worth reading as well! And, just for you night owls, there is another blogger who is hosting a Maximize Your Mornings Challenge! Check it out if you want some accountability as you get started!

I used to always get up early. I was showered and dressed before my kids got up. Due to life events of the last nine months, I got out of the habit. I developed some undesirable habits. Like using my children as my alarm clock - only dragging myself out of bed when their begging for breakfast kept me from sleeping any longer. Like spending whole days without a shower. Days without ever cracking open my Bible or whispering a prayer. I wasn't living the priorities God had for me. I knew it had to change - and Kat's book was the ~~kick in the pants~~ inspiration I needed!

The first week, I just made myself get up at 5:30. I didn't do a bible study or work out. I just got up. And sat in a chair. I was training my body clock. I made myself do it even after I stayed up late the night before. I highly recommend going this route. I tend to be an all-or-nothing person so this went against my grain. But, I'm glad I did it this way. I think the habit (there's that word again!) will stick rather than fizzle.

I have created a binder for my mornings, based on the e-book. {You will find binders to be a recurring theme with me. I *heart* binders!} I have 5 tabs: Weekly Overview, To Do, Fitness, Bible Study, and Prayer

My purdy little cover

I used some of Kat's forms and made some of my own. I included a spiral notebook in the Bible Study section for journaling. I use a blank calendar to track my fitness/weight loss goals. I also track the water I drink and my vitamins because I tend to forget both those things!

This is a form I made because I needed more space to write. Who, me??

I've only been using this system for a few weeks now, but I love it. It makes my mornings streamlined - and I can get a lot accomplished. This is what my basic routine looks like:

5:00 ~ wake up, get dressed in work out clothes, read email (This may sound strange, but its the easiest way for me to wake up so I'm not yawning through my bible study. I'm pretty sure my friends don't mind if I yawn through their emails at 5am with half a brain ;) )

5:15-5:45 ~ Bible study, prayer, plan (I wish I was in a life stage where I could pull off a Beth Moore-type study, but I'm just not right now. If/when God leads me to do something more in-depth, I'll do that - and I'm sure it will require more time. For now, I'm doing short devotions I got from church.)

5:45 - 6:00 ~ free weights, push ups, etc. at home

6:00 - 6:30 ~ gym (we have a little work out facility in our neighborhood that is "free" for residents, so Ed and I have been taking advantage of that, but I have to be home at 6:30 so he can go to work, so I mainly use it for cardio)

6:30 - 7:00 ~ shower/dress

7:00 - 8:30 ~ Breakfast, clean up, chores (more on that later), prep food for day as needed (more on that later)

8:30 ~ start school (with a big ol' cup of coffee in hand!)

I will cover what my children do during these times in the next post.
I think that covers mornings. At least the earliest parts of them :) Read the e-book and see if you aren't inspired to get up a little earlier to include Prayer, Exercise and Planning into your day before it really gets started!

I'd love to know what you think of the e-book ... and what your morning routine looks like!

A Series? By Me? Oh, This Should Be Good ...

2010-08-06T08:28:00.001-06:00

OK, y'all ... here's the deal.
I'm an organizer by nature. Its just the way God made me.  I consider it my spiritual gift. Don't laugh. :) Sometimes I feel silly thinking (much less saying) it, but it just seems to be the truth for my life.
I like tidy (notice I didn't say clean...so don't come to my house with any expectations). I like systems and routines. Its just ingrained in me. I'm hard-wired that way.
Now, mix that in with being a homeschool mom with 4 kids age 9 and under at home. Yeah ... doesn't really lend itself to tidy and organized. But, I'm also a competitor, so lest these munchkins get the best of me ... organized and tidy it WILL be! ;)

I've noticed the last couple years that some of my friends are intrigued by this. Interested in how I run my household. As a woman who loves to help other women - especially when it comes to organization or making things run more smoothly - I dig it. I've shared some of the things I use for running my home with several friends, but I haven't shared much here because I don't want anyone to think that I'm smug about it or a know-it-all in any way. Far from it! I'm constantly tweaking things and trying new systems to find what works best for me and for our family. And, on THAT point, let me just say that I'm a HUGE believer in every family doing what works best for THEM. God didn't create us to be the same. Not in our spiritual journey, not in the way we raise our children, not in the way we run or organize our homes (all within Biblical guidelines, of course). We are different on purpose and for a purpose.

All that said, I've decided to do a series of posts about organization, running a household, etc. I feel totally presumptuous and completely ill equipped to be offering this for all the world to see ... but that's how I know its God's prompting. I also know that there are lots of moms who read my blog and if it can help someone, then by all means, I'm on board.

I don't really know what its all going to look like yet - I just know I feel led to do it. The "series" may be two posts. I don't know. I know I can't sit down and put it all into one post and I know its going to take some thought and a lot of prayer! I'm just sharing from my heart. So, take it for what its worth! :)

"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." Titus 2:3-5

Due date

2010-08-03T17:45:00.000-06:00

So, I'm back to Jackson ...
Any guesses as to what occupies a good portion of my thoughts? :)

Tomorrow is my due date. Was, actually.

August 4, 2010 is a date I started looking forward to in November last year, when we learned we were expecting our little guy. Then I started dreading it in April, when we learned our baby was gone. The date didn't change. Only the circumstance.

I haven't felt like tomorrow would affect me much. Mainly because I feel like Jackson "should" be here - I've already given birth to him. My grief is centered around not having a three month old in my arms.

But, as is typical with this crazy beast of grief, it blind sided me today. As I was scrolling through updates on facebook, pictures of someone's baby boy hit me like a ton of bricks. I was surprised because pictures of others' babies haven't affected me much up until now. Being around babies is extremely difficult, but pictures haven't been a big deal. So, I'm not sure how tomorrow will hit me. Though I'm guessing it will be a bigger deal than I thought a few days ago.

Today I find myself wishing I were complaining about all the discomforts of late pregnancy. And, for a girl who does NOT enjoy being pregnant, that's sayin' something! :)

God is still faithful. I cling to the truth that He is in control, that He does have a perfect plan and that He is, above all else, GOOD.

I would appreciate your prayers for tomorrow.

Our Homeschool 2010-2011

2010-07-25T17:15:00.000-06:00

I get so many questions and emails about how we homeschool, what curriculum we use, how it's set up, etc that I decided to post it all here in one spot :)   Count yourselves warned ... its gonna be a long one!
I'm always happy to answer questions or help other moms figure things out (as so many other moms have helped me along the way!), so feel free to continue asking!

2010-2011 will be my 5th year to homeschool. What?!?!   In some ways, I feel like I've got this thing figured out, but in other ways, I still have a lot to learn!   One thing is certain - I still love it as much if not more than when we started! It is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. It's not easy. Some days aren't pretty. There are sacrifices. But, I wouldn't trade the relationships I have with my children, the relationships they have with each other or the time I get to spend with them. The days can be long, but the years are short! I know I won't look back on this time and wish I'd spent less time with my kids! :) (though, there are days right now ... lol!)

This year I have three "official" school aged kiddos as Jadyn starts Kindergarten!

Our educational approach is fairly eclectic - Leaning heavily Charlotte Mason, with a pinch of Classical and Unit Study approaches, while maintaining a biblical worldview.   I'm not a big fan of recreating the classroom at home, but I am making things more structured this year. Due to an assortment of life happenings, our last two years have been rather chaotic and UNstructured, so I've spent this summer swinging the pendulum the other way, knowing we'll swing back to our center as this next school year goes along. The fact of the matter is we get more accomplished when we have structure. That's not true for everyone, but it is for us.

Here is what our school space looks like (for now). It gets moved around frequently! :)

(Unfortunately for my poor husband, who I drive batty with my incessant moving of furniture! Sorry, honey!)

This is the view as you walk into the game room (AKA our school room)

This is our space for "group time" (see below)

Jacob's desk, curriculum and workboxes in the drawers on the left.

I write all of his assignments for the week on the dry erase board,

so he can work ahead or be prepared to work on the weekends when needed :)

He also has his spelling words and memory verse on there as well.

Jadyn's desk and workboxes

The files on the wall are file folder games & various worksheets

Jordan's desk on the left (Jake's is on the right)

My desk and our table for crafts, games, etc.

The blue chair is our "listening center" for books on tape, etc.

**The quilt was made for Jacob by my great aunt and I love it :) **

Jace's "workboxes" -

basically quiet toys for him to play with while we are doing school

(and NO, it doesn't always work that way! lol!)

Obviously, we like Sue Patrick's workbox system - and her book: Sue Patrick's Workbox System A User's Guide - it has made homeschooling multiple children so much easier! I love that I can mix in fun activities with their curriculum work. It also gives the kids a visual for what they have accomplished as well as what they have left to do. Most importantly, it keeps the kids working independently for nice stretches of time so I can work 1:1 with each of them.

Our curriculum plan for this year:

*Group Time: Obviously, all of them at once ...
~Bible: This summer we started memorizing the verses on Songs for Saplings, so we'll continue that until finished & move on to other memory verses. We'll also use Leading Little Ones to God and our curriculum will have verses and Bible stories we may use as well. Plus, we memorize the books of the Bible.
~Lapbooks: Biblical Obedience, Books of the Bible, Jesus Loves the Little Children, Easter, May Day and Jace will have some of his own :)
~Pledge of Allegiance
~Address & important phone #s
~Calendar (Date, Months, Days)
~Shapes, Colors, Weather
~Math (Counting, Skip Counting, Place Value, Money, Graphing)
~Letter of the week (with activities from Jadyn's curriculum, Confessions of a Homeschooler & 1+1+1=1)
~Craft (Art: Art with Anything, stART activities, etc)
~Read Alouds: mostly taken from My Father's World curriculum

*Jordan (age 9, 4th grade, Down Syndrome) -
~NACD program
~Main Curriculum: unit studies and she will be included in some of Jadyn & Jake's curriculum when appropriate for her.
~Reading: New Practice Readers and I'm Going to Read books (plus, she reads to Jace)
~Math: Hayes Math Drill books
~Misc: "The Care and Keeping of You"
~Extra Curricular: TBD

*Jacob (age 8, 3rd grade) -
~U.S. History & Geography, Science, Music: Adventures in My Father's World (I purchased it last year, but we only got through the first 6 weeks. Thankfully, its designed for 2nd or 3rd grade, so I didn't totally waste my money but I am going to have to tweak it a bit to keep him interested).
~Math: Saxon (We started Saxon 54 this summer to see if we liked it and we do, so he'll finish that and move into Saxon 65).
~Reading: New Practice Readers and Reading About Science
~Spelling: Spelling Power
~Art: I Can Do All Things
~Handwriting: A Reason for Handwriting or Cursive Connections ... still undecided!
~Misc: "Oops, Your Manners are Showing," plus a few fun unit studies (and he works with Jace on his colors, shapes, etc)
~Extra Curricular: Cub Scouts (he'll be working on his Bear rank this year) and Soccer (he will be playing in the Jr. Dynamos Academy and is very excited!)

Jadyn (age 5, Kindergarten) -
~Main Curriculum: My Father's World Kindergarten (Reading, Science, Literature)
~Math: We'll start with Math U See and see how she likes it (because I already have it)
~Handwriting: A Reason for Handwriting
~Music: KinderBach piano
~Misc: fun unit studies
~Extra Curricular: Gymnastics

We'll use various other resources as we go along - most of which you can find in my "Homeschool Faves" tab!
Whew - I think that covers it! Makes me tired just typing it all - good thing we have a whole year to get through it!

"I do..."

2010-07-20T11:01:00.000-06:00

Fourteen years ago,

I said, "I do..."

I said, "For better or for worse..."

I said, "In sickness and in health..."

I said, "Til death do us part..."

For fourteen years, by God's grace

I've lived, "I do..." ~ Not perfectly. Just committed. To Ed. To our marriage. To the work of loving him. No matter what. And, I still do... :)

I've lived, "For better or for worse..." ~ We've had our share of worse. But, we've had more than our fair share of better. I'm thankful that God has given us the opportunity to live out this vow in such a powerful way. I've said before, its the worse that has brought about an intimacy that I could not have dreamed of fourteen years ago! Its the worse that's made the better so much better. Walking in the valley makes the hilltop far more precious.

I've lived, "In sickness and in health..." ~ Thankfully, its mostly been health with the two of us - but we've sure had to deal with sickness in our children. Down Syndrome, open heart surgery and death aren't the ideal picture of health, for sure. We've walked these roads as a team and we've learned so much about each other along the way. I'm not at a place where I can honestly say I wouldn't trade it, but I can say I wouldn't trade the growth and experiences we've enjoyed in our marriage because of these on-going journeys.

I've lived, "Til death do us part..." ~ I think this is the most important one of all. Our journey hasn't always been pretty, but it is very beautiful. And, there is a difference. I pray God will allow us to live this one out for a long time. I would say until we're old and gray, but those seem to be coming sooner rather than later :)

"I do ..."

Just two words. But when said as marriage vows, they are some of the most powerful words that can be spoken. I highly doubt that most people realize the power of those words when they say them. I know I didn't. But, I'm so thankful to have had the opportunity to figure it out. With a man just as committed.

I love you, Ed! Thank you for choosing me. For continuing to choose me. For loving me - and showing it. Even when I make it hard. :) Thank you for sticking it out. For staying. For being you! Even when you annoy the stink out of me!! :) We've lived an awful lot of life in the last 14 years. And, I'm looking forward to the next 14 with you. But, I vote for a little less drama, mkay?? ;)

Jace's First Haircut

2010-07-13T13:55:00.000-06:00

I think this is the most emotional I've ever been for a first haircut. Partly because I'm just emotional these days :) but also because this is the first one that had some real baby curls. Not many, but certainly the most of any of our kids!! I hated the idea of cutting them off, but it was time!

BEFORE - front

BEFORE - back

AFTER - front

AFTER - back {sniff ... sniff}

His daddy will be very happy :)

Name Collage

2010-07-13T12:39:00.001-06:00

My plan is to get back into blogging about life happenings outside of and beyond just those surrounding Jackson - but I have to share this beautiful collage created by Franchesca at Abiding Hope Collages. What a precious gift!

Peace Despite Circumstances

2010-06-27T11:05:00.000-06:00

It is so easy to be deceived by our emotions - what a great reminder of where true peace comes from! The context of this quote is about spending time with Jesus every.single.day.
"The peace that flows despite circumstances can only be found through Jesus being with us....Instead of being slaves to our emotions and reacting based on our feelings, we can remain victoriously peaceful no matter what."
From Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa Terkeurst

No Matter What

2010-06-25T16:29:00.000-06:00

I am loving this song by Kerrie Roberts "No Matter What" - she has a beautiful voice and the lyrics are so powerful ...

I’m running back to your promises one more time,
Lord that’s all I can hold on to,
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise,
but nothing surprises you.
Before a heartache can ever touch my life,
it has to go through Your hands, and even though I keep asking why,
I keep asking why,

No matter what, I’m gonna love You,
no matter what I’m gonna need You,
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
but if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.

When I’m stuck and there’s nothing else by myself,
I’m just sitting in silence,
there’s no way I can make it without Your help,
I wont even try it.
I know You have Your reasons for everything,
so I will keep believing, whatever I might be feeling,
God you are my hope, and you will be my strength,

No matter what, I’m gonna love You,
no matter what I’m gonna need You,
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
but if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.

Anything I don’t have You can give it to me,
but it’s ok if You don’t,
I’m not here for those things,
the touch of Your love is enough on its own,
no matter what I still love You and I’m gona need You

No matter what I’m gonna love you,
no matter what I’m gonna need you,
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
but if not, I’ll trust You, no matter what, no matter what.
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain,
but if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what
no matter no matter what

Jackson

2010-06-23T16:52:00.001-06:00

Here are my favorite images of our brief time with Jackson

Its hard to believe we buried him 2 months ago today ...

These photos are courtesy of Joe Heiliger, a sweet family friend and volunteer photographer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep!!

Jace turns TWO!

2010-06-23T09:24:00.008-06:00

Jace turned two a few weeks ago!! He is a FUN 2-year-old and really pretty easy. He is rough-and-tumble, all-boy, super cute, loves music and dancing, balls, cars, The Backyardigans and food! He is our worst talker to date, but has mad motor skills for his age. He walks up and down the stairs without holding on - which usually makes me crazy (especially when I find him climbing up the OUTSIDE of the stair case)! :) He loves the tampoline and can jump right along with his big sisters and brother! He can kick the soccer ball like nobody's business and shouts "GOAL!" every time he kicks it (whether it actually makes it in the goal or not!) You can't help but smile (or laugh) when you see his stocky-short-legged body doing the toddler dash! He is a squealer - and a very high-pitched one at that. I'm fairly certain I've lost a good amount of hearing.
He is a grunter and generally speaks with only one syllable per word. He says "thank you" without prompty, but has yet to master "please." :) He gives the biggest puckered-lip kisses you've ever seen (frequently accompanied by drool). He is a sweet-hearted little guy that gets very upset when someone is hurt or crying. He is a delight and has been the source of great joy for our family - and precious heart-healing therapy for me.

Here are some pix of our very small celebration!
"Happy Birthday to Jace..."

Make a wish

Unlike his first birthday, the cake was a hit this year!

Pure DELIGHT over videos with The Backyardigans from Gummie!

New tricycle from Grandma!

Father's Day

2010-06-20T22:43:00.003-06:00

Happy Father's Day to the very best Daddy ...

Ed is not only an amazing husband, but such a good daddy as well. I am so blessed to have him as my partner in life and in parenting. He is committed to our family - and he works hard at being a dad!

I love you, Babe! Thanks for being the kind of dad and man that made Jadyn say you are her hero ;) You really are! I hope you never doubt how adored you are by all of us!

Beach Therapy

2010-06-05T14:10:00.016-06:00

Our trip to Galveston ...

Ed's therapy was the fishing

The kids' therapy was playing in the water

...and building sand castles

...and eating ice cream

...and catching crabs

...and bike riding down the seawall

And my therapy ... was just getting away!

Thanks & Update

2010-06-05T11:55:00.003-06:00

Thank you ... so many of you have called, sent cards, notes and messages and I'm really grateful! It means more than you know. There are not words enough to express how touched we are by every single person that reaches out to us. I know most people don't know what to do or say, but please know that it is so comforting just to know you are thinking about us or praying for us.

Things are slowly getting better. It's only been six weeks since Jackson was born - it feels like the longest six weeks of my life! I still have hard days - even some really hard days - and I imagine that will continue for some time. I've tried to focus on allowing myself to feel whatever feelings come. That is tough for me since I am a planner, I like to think I'm in "control" of not only my emotions (ha!), but also the hows, whens, etc. Yes, all things God is working on in me through this experience. He's been showing me the areas of my life that I have yet to relinquish control to Him. He's working on my heart in big and small ways and I am learning more everyday about really, truly trusting Him and allowing Him to be in charge.

I am constantly reminded of Romans 5:3-5 ~ and I especially love The Message translation: "There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary - we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit."

I continue to trust that God's plans are perfect - even though my broken heart and human mind scream that Jackson not being here with me is anything but perfect. I know I won't understand until I see my baby boy again. In the meantime, I just have to TRUST in God's greatness and goodness.

Peace

2010-05-21T08:23:00.003-06:00

I remember praying that God would make Jackson's birth peaceful - that the whole experience in the hospital would just be as peaceful as possible. I knew He'd been faithful to answer those prayers and this picture is a perfect reminder ...

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

All my thoughts ...

2010-05-19T22:01:00.000-06:00

I have so many thoughts and emotions still swirling. I want to try to share some of it, because I know everyone is wondering - some ask and some don't. Some want to know and some don't.

I know that everyone wants to help - and I am appreciative of that, I really am. In all the ways it comes, I am thankful. I am blessed to have a few friends and family that "get it" - and keep asking how I am, knowing that this is a long journey, knowing that I want and need to talk about Jackson & the whole experience, that understand my tears are a good thing, that this process isn't pretty, that I need to hear his name spoken, and that I just need them to listen.

Everyone I love is hurting. I don't know how to help my children or my husband, much less myself. I know that I may need counseling. I get it. I know that I might need help walking through this - and if/when that time comes, I will seek it out. In the meantime what I need are friends and family that aren't afraid of my grief.

I am in awe at the power and intensity of this grief. I've had my share of losses and life events that required grieving, but this is just different. So much heavier. Tomorrow will be one month since I gave birth to my sweet boy and I am amazed at how deeply I still mourn. I could not have imagined this a month ago. I am shocked at what a scatterbrain I've been, how little focus and energy I have. Its exhausting. Physically, mentally, spiritually and obviously, emotionally.

I am usually a pretty open book. I don't typically hold things in. And because I love to write (and talk), I have plenty of words - its just hard to know what to share and with who (whom?). I have literally felt like I was losing my mind. Like I was going crazy. So, I kept things inside.

Until last weekend. I read the book, I Will Carry You by Angie Smith. She made me feel normal again! I used to read her blog and pray for her sweet family as they grieved the loss of their daughter just hours after her birth. I cried through the whole book - partly because I felt like she was telling MY story and partly because I so desired what she had - TIME. She knew months before her baby passed away that it would happen. Before I lost Jackson, I would have seen that as a horrible, awful turn of events. But from where I sit now, I see it as a beautiful gift. I'm not trying to minimize their pain at all, just pointing out that she had something I longed for! She got to say goodbye. She gave birth to a live baby. She was able to look into her daughter's eyes. I so wish I'd have known to say goodbye. I wish I could have looked into Jackson's eyes. Just for a moment. And, yet, I know that if I'd had a moment, I would have longed for another. There is no 'enough' in something like this.

Jackson's body was very fragile and deteriorated quickly. Because he had been deceased for over a week in my womb before birth, his bones had collapsed and his body was "squishy" (technical term for it)! But, it was easy to see that he had Eddie's mouth (a Kermit-the-Frog mouth, as I like to call it) and Eddie's brow. That is a beautiful treasure for us. The pictures I have are treasures as well. I have a hard time taking myself back to those peaceful hours that I held him - I want to remember it so badly, but there are too many painful memories that cloud it out. For now.

I know God will give me that again. I also trust that this pain I feel is where I am supposed to be right now. This is the season that God has chosen for me and I trust that walking through this pain is part of the work He is doing in me to bring about the good that I know He has in store. I have yelled at God and cried out to Him and expressed every emotion ... and at the end of it all, I have trusted Him. I know He can handle my grief and I know that He is walking me through this. I haven't felt like I could "hear" much from Him ... except to REST and TRUST in Him. I have heard that repeatedly. Those very words were in a song we sang at church on Sunday and I just smiled as I felt God affirming what I already knew I was hearing. He is so very good. Even when my circumstances are anything but.

We spent last week staying at a beach house on Galveston island. It was wonderful and a much-needed getaway for all of us. The kids needed some fun and distraction, Ed needed some fishing and I just needed some time away to think and process the events and emotions of the past few weeks. Its amazing how relaxing the sound of the ocean can be. I loved walking on the beach and looking at the waves crashing and being reminded of just how little understanding I have of the mind of God. So little understanding of just how big and amazing He really is.

By the end of our trip, I was feeling desperate. I'd gone to the beach for some down time and some relaxation, some fun, of course, but also in hopes of "pulling myself together," or "figuring out my emotions;" of finding some end to my intense grief. About the only thing I 'figured out' is that this is for sure a process, a journey - and a long one at that. Just like everyone has been telling me. I was sure hoping I could bypass the process. :) Maybe deal with it all at once? In a week. Nice, tidy little package of grief. Done.

I don't think I really know what my expectations were (or are), but I do know that I have to find a way to move forward while still mourning my loss. Life continues on ... whether it feels like it should or not. My children need me. I am praying every day that God will cover them with His grace - to meet their needs when I can't. To give me the energy I need to be the mom they need. Sure, I have much to be grateful for and I am. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful marriage and four wonderful children still here with me. I am blessed beyond what I deserve, for sure. But, there is a void as well. A hole. A missing piece. SomeONE missing. Someone I think about every second of every day. Someone I long to see again. To hold in my arms again. To hold his little hand again. To look into his eyes.

The Cord

2010-04-30T06:26:00.003-06:00

This is the poem I read at Jackson's service.

The Cord

We are connected,
My child and I.
By an invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.

Its not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth.
This cord can't be seen
By any on Earth.

This cord does its work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.

I know that it's there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.

The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed.
It can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord
Man could create.
It withstands the test,
Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
Though no one can see.

It pulls at my heart
I am bruised, I am sore.
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.

I am thankful that God
Connects us this way.
A mother and child
Death can't take it away!

An Angel Never Dies

2010-04-30T06:20:00.003-06:00

This is the poem my little brother, Erin read at Jackson's service.

An Angel Never Dies

Don't let them say I wasn't born,
That something stopped my heart.
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I've loved you from the start.

Although my body you can't hold
It doesn't mean I'm gone.
This world was worthy, not of me.
God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face.
You have my word, I'll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.

You'll hear that it was meant to be,
God doesn't make mistakes.
But that won't soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.

I'm watching over all you do,
Even in this pain you bear.
Believe me when I say to you
That I am always there.

There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips,
And then you'll understand.

Although I've never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesn't mean I never was,
An Angel never dies.

2010-04-29T06:57:00.004-06:00

Its been nearly a week since we buried our baby boy. As hard as it was, I thought the graveside service we had was beautiful. I was able to see my sweet baby wrapped in the blanket my mom made for him and wearing the hat she crocheted. I needed to know his little body was in his casket just the way I wanted him. Some of the things I've needed through this journey have been surprising and some I haven't had explanations for. I've just had to trust what my heart was telling me was important and go with it.

When we arrived at the funeral home, Jackson's casket was set up in a room with some sweet flowers friends had sent. After our family arrived, Ed carried the casket out to a car that took us to the grave site. We had a short little service that included some Scripture, some poems, and a sweet song. I'll post those soon. Then, we placed roses on the casket and our other kids all placed toys they chose for him on his casket.

Afterwards, we had a dove release ceremony that proved to be beautiful! A company called Dream Doves came and did an "Angel Release" - she released one dove to signify Jackson and then a flock of doves were released afterwards. It was really a beautiful sight!

We had a ton of food at our house afterwards, thanks to our church! And visitors filled our house for the afternoon.

We are so thankful for the love and support we've received from so many! I am amazed at the number of donations made to Show Hope in memory of our little Jackson. I'm also amazed at the number of cards we've received!! We are receiving meals from our small group and have still received flowers this week. It blesses us immensely!! My mom gave us a memory box for all our keepsakes. It has a shadowbox lid, which I love:

I'm hoping to have his name engraved on the little silver plate soon. I'm so glad my mom made two hats and blankets, so I was able to keep one of each! You can also see his little footprints on the left. The verse was from the program at the funeral home. This box will be a forever-treasure!

The past week has been a roller coaster ride for me. I don't really know what else to say about it right now. I am thankful that God gave us Jackson for the short time He did and I continue to trust that He knows better than I do, even though my human heart and mind can't make sense of it.

Born Still & Peacefully

2010-04-20T14:04:00.003-06:00

Jackson Erin Sustala was born very peacefully this morning at 6:49 am, weighing 1 pound, 10 ounces. He was 12.5 inches long. Bigger than we expected.

We were so blessed to spend 3 beautiful hours with him. Seeing him for the first time was the most painful experience of my life - and yet holding him in my arms was such a relief. Once he arrived, we found he'd had a cord accident - his cord was wrapped tightly around his neck twice as well as under his arm. His tiny feet were both very clubbed as well.

God made his presence felt in so many ways. The room was filled with nearly constant prayer and his arrival was as peaceful as I could have hoped for. God was so gracious to us throughout the entire process. The labor was fairly easy and the delivery very simple. I am in awe of His provision and love! We have felt so loved by our family and friends as well. I am so thankful for Ed - I am so blessed to spend my life with him. He has been amazing!

Leaving the hospital without our baby was difficult and I expect this week will be tough as I recover from birth and all that entails without a babe in my arms. Please continue to lift us up in prayer as we face this week and look ahead to the burial on Friday.

We know that God is so very good and we trust His plans for our family, even in our pain.

Induction Tonight!

2010-04-19T15:00:00.002-06:00

We have a slight change of plans with the induction. We are going to the hospital TONIGHT - at 6pm to be induced. Please PRAY!!!

Birth & Burial

2010-04-19T11:23:00.002-06:00

Well, we've had a week to grieve the loss of our sweet Jackson and now we have a week to give birth and bury him. It feels like a whole lot more than I'd like to do, but I also know that God's grace and strength will prove sufficient, as it already has.

Here are the details - I am scheduled to be induced tomorrow (Tues) morning. There are no guarantees that it will work quickly - it could take 24 hours. Please pray that it goes as peacefully and easily as possible and that God will take care of every detail (including my fears).

We have planned the burial for Friday morning. It will be a private family service, but we are happy to welcome any other family and friends to our house Friday, 1:00 - 4:00 pm.
If you need the address contact Ed or me.

One question we've been asked about are flowers: they can be sent to our home or to the funeral home: Woodlawn Funeral Home & Cemetery in Houston.
In lieu of flowers, donations can also be made in memory of Jackson Erin Sustala to Show Hope by clicking this link: https://secure2.convio.net/ccsh/site/Donation?ACTION=SHOW_DONATION_OPTIONS&CAMPAIGN_ID=1065
Show Hope is a non-profit organization that mobilizes individuals and communities to care for orphans and provide waiting children with families by giving grants to those adopting.

We are all holding up pretty well and are very grateful for all the love, prayers, support, cards, messages, meals and offers to help from SO many!

Please continue to pray for all of us this week.

What Now?

2010-04-12T12:45:00.003-06:00

I've had a lot of emails and phone calls about 'what now?' & other questions - so I thought this would be as good a place as any to answer them.
Our choices, as they stand right now, are to wait and see if my body will go into labor on its own (which typically happens in 2-3 weeks) or I can choose to schedule an induction. At least for now, we are choosing to wait. My midwife is out of town until next Monday and I'd rather not do anything without her here. I'm not sure what I will decide next week. We're just trying to take things one day at a time right now.
As far as where we plan to birth - I don't know if we know yet. But, Ed and I are both leaning toward a hospital birth. That could change in an hour or in a day or in a week. :)
As for what will happen after Jackson's birth. We will get to hold him and spend as much time as we want with him (although he will be very fragile). Additionally, we have an amazing blessing of a photographer that will come and take pictures for us. A beautiful ministry called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep will provide that. Beyond that, we will have him buried - but don't have those plans yet. We do not plan to do a funeral, but perhaps a graveside family service. We still have plenty of arrangements to make and this is likely going to be a process that extends through the next couple weeks.
We are so thankful for all the words of encouragement and support we have rec'd and thankful for all the prayers!
We are also thankful that God did indeed choose to completely HEAL Jackson - it just wasn't in the way we had hoped.
Again, thank you for all the prayers and love and support for our family!

Jackson Erin

2010-04-11T20:52:00.002-06:00

We learned today that our precious Jackson has passed away. Please pray for us as we grieve losing him - but also as we move forward in making decisions and arrangements. I'm 23+ weeks along and will still have to give birth to him and then bury him, which feels so beyond hard right now.
I noticed that I hadn't felt him moving (even when trying to get him to), so we went to the midwife and there was no heartbeat. We went to the hospital and it was confirmed with an ultrasound that Jackson had passed.
We are heartbroken and crushed, but we still PRAISE God. We KNOW He is good & faithful and that He will bring good out of even this. We are trusting Him, even though we don't begin to understand.
We would covet your prayers for not only peace, but for direction and wisdom as we make hard decisions and arrangements in the coming days.

The Joy that is Jadyn!

2010-03-24T13:39:00.003-06:00

Today my spunky little peanut, Jadyn, is 5 years old.

Its amazing how quickly life passes by when you stop to look back. Jadyn was born in Dallas and was our first homebirth. She was also my biggest baby weighing in at 10 pounds, 5 ounces!!!! Looking at the petite little thing she is now, you'd never know it! I was complaining to our chiropractor a few weeks ago about her "gerbil sized bladder" (because she ALWAYS has to go potty) and he replied, "Well, she has a gerbil sized body. What size bladder do you expect to fit in there?" LOL! Very true.

She may be small physically, but she has a BIG personality! She is very outgoing, super social, fun, full-of-life and she has added many dimensions to our family. I joke (only slightly) that I had the parenting gig figured out until she came along. She gives Ed and me a run for our money and keeps us on our parenting-toes! She is the epitome of a "strong-willed child." Although, I prefer the term, "high-spirited." :)

She is a big ol' pot of extremes. She brings great joy to our lives ... and sometimes, great frustration. She is quite independent, which will serve her well as an adult, but tends to make parenting her a tad tricky. She is charming - and knows it. She is beautiful - and is told far too frequently. She has a cute little voice - according to people who don't live with her! She is very girly, smart, sassy, busy, entertaining and just plain hilarious!

We love you, Little Miss! You have certainly made your dad and me better parents just by being YOU! And, we wouldn't trade it for anything. You are a wonderful, amazing blessing!!! Happy Birthday, sweet girl!

God is healing our little guy!!!

2010-03-16T13:07:00.004-06:00

Prayer warriors, you are the best! Thank you for praying for and with us!!
We got some good news today at our appointment:
First, the cyst is already gone!!!!
Second, there were no other signs or "red flags" for any chromosome abnormalities. (That can only be confirmed by amnio, but we have declined invasive testing).
Third, Jackson's feet appear to be better than the first ultrasound indicated! His right foot is mildly clubbed and the left foot is less so!!
We are praising God and believing that our boy will be totally healed before he is born! I will have another ultrasound with the specialist in 6 weeks!
Thanks again for all the prayers ... and keep praying and believing with us for God's miraculous healing!!!!

Follow Up with a Perinatologist

2010-03-08T13:50:00.003-06:00

We have an appointment with a perinatal specialist to follow up and confirm baby Jackson's diagnosis of club feet and rule out any other issues. Since there was some discussion between the ladies doing our first ultrasound about whether it was club feet or rocker bottom feet - coupled with the choriod plexus cyst, our midwife thinks its smart to follow up with a specialist and we agree!
Our appointment is next Tuesday, March 16. We are thankful to be getting more information so quickly.
Please continue to pray for healing for Jackson as well as wisdom for this new doctor!
We are hopeful!

Babies with Something More

2010-03-06T17:06:00.002-06:00

I originally posted this two years ago, but it says a lot about what I feel today ... especially the part about what mother's want. Praise God He is trustworthy to equip us for what He calls us to!

SOME MOTHERS GET BABIES WITH SOMETHING MORE by Lori Borgman, newspaper columnist and author

My friend is expecting her first child. People keep asking what she wants. She smiles demurely, shakes her head and gives the answer mothers have given throughout the ages of time. She says it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl. She just wants it to have ten fingers and ten toes. Of course, that's what she says. That's what mothers have always said.

Mothers lie.

Truth be told, every mother wants a whole lot more. Every mother wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin. Every mother wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly.

Every mother wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule. Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire ballet class. Call it greed if you want, but we mothers want what we want.

Some mothers get babies with something more. Some mothers get babies with conditions they can't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palette that didn't close. Most of those mothers can remember the time, the place, the shoes they were wearing and the color of the walls in the small, suffocating room where the doctor uttered the words that took their breath away. It felt like recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming and it knocked the wind clean out of you.

Some mothers leave the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, take him in for a routine visit, or schedule her for a well check, and crash head first into a brick wall as they bear the brunt of devastating news. It can't be possible! That doesn't run in our family. Can this really be happening in our lifetime?

I am a woman who watches the Olympics for the sheer thrill of seeing finely sculpted bodies. It's not a lust thing; it's a wondrous thing. The athletes appear as specimens without flaw - rippling muscles with nary an ounce of flab or fat, virtual powerhouses of strength with lungs and limbs working in perfect harmony. Then the athlete walks over to a tote bag, rustles through the contents and pulls out an inhaler.

As I've told my own kids, be it on the way to physical therapy after a third knee surgery, or on a trip home from an echo cardiogram, there's no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear something at some time or another. Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, medication or surgery.

The health problems our children have experienced have been minimal and manageable, so I watch with keen interest and great admiration the mothers of children with serious disabilities, and wonder how they do it. Frankly, sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that child in and out of a wheelchair 20 times a day. How you monitor tests, track medications, regulate diet and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear. I wonder how you endure the praise and the platitudes, well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy pieces like this one saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you’re ordinary. You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this. You didn't jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me, God! Choose me! I've got what it takes."

You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so, please, let me do it for you. From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, carefully counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule. You can be warm and tender one minute, and when circumstances require, intense and aggressive the next. You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability. You're a neighbor, a friend, a stranger I pass at the mall. You're the woman I sit next to at church, my cousin and my sister-in-law. You're a woman who wanted ten fingers and ten toes, and got something more. You're a wonder.

And his name is ...

2010-03-05T19:05:00.003-06:00

Jackson Erin!
We are sticking with the J.E.S. initials! Jackson is after Ed's grandparents, Momo & Pawpaw Jackson. Erin is my little brother's name.

Please keep Jackson in your prayers ... we are praying for miraculous healing because we know God is capable!

So much of our grief since learning about Jackson's club feet has more to do with remembering the feelings when we learned of Jordan's heart defect & Down Syndrome just after she was born. And, if we're honest, about feeling like this isn't fair. That we've had "our turn" with a birth defect. Sounds like a 5 year old, doesn't it? Ed's initial reaction was anger. Mine was intense sadness & fear. But, we have flipped, flopped and roller coastered all over the place since then. I am amazed at the myriad thoughts and feelings I have from one minute to the next! Not only that, but the full range of those thoughts and feelings. From sadness, anger, frustration, fear and even guilt for feeling sad when others are facing far worse circumstances and even losing their babies, to relief (that this condition is treatable), immense gratitude (knowing friends and family are praying along side us), peace, a sense of awe in the way God has already arranged the details, hope for a miraculous healing ... and on it goes.

I am hopeful about what God will do in this situation! Thank you for continuing to pray with us.

Clubfoot Info

2010-03-04T21:12:00.002-06:00

Writing is my therapy, so there may be more blog posts than anyone cares to read for a while. :)

Now that I've had a little time to read online, I can share what limited information I have about our little baby boy's condition.

Before I do that, let me add a prayer need. Eddie and I just watched the 4-D ultrasound DVD we rec'd last night. On it is the official paperwork about what the technician saw. Something that wasn't really discussed with us last night is something called a choriod plexus cyst. Apparently, this is fairly common and typically disappears by the 6th month. It could also be a symptom of a chromosomal anomaly. Please pray that it goes away before my next ultrasound and that there is nothing further wrong with our baby!

Is it possible to be both ENcouraged and DIScouraged all at once? That is the only way I can describe how I feel tonight. I am encouraged by what I've read about treatment for clubfoot, yet on the other hand discouraged that I am facing the possibility of walking this road at all. I know in the grand scheme of things, this is a minor blip on the radar - so I am encouraged. Yet, in this moment, my mother's heart is broken and I am discouraged. I fully trust in God's perfect plan for me, my baby and our family and therefore I am very encouraged. And yet there is a pain I just can't describe. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning!!!

Best I can tell - treatment for clubfoot entails serial casting which begins around 1-2 weeks of age. The casts are changed each week and the feet are manipulated slowly to the correct position. This generally last 6-8 weeks. The heel chords are then released followed by another cast for 3 weeks. After that, a brace is worn - possibly all day for a few months, but then just at night for 2 years. There is another treatment that involves lots of physical therapy, stretching, taping, etc = but also last 2 years. Both have about a 95% success rate according to a study I read about. This is encouraging news.

We would really prefer not to walk this road, but we are willing to go where God sends us. I know that if this is the journey He has called us to, He will fully equip us to walk it. I have already seen Him faithful in that. Sometimes people say, "God never gives you more than you can handle." I can assure you that giving me a child with Down Syndrome was more than I could handle. Thankfully, God has been faithful to equip us with every step ... and I know He will do the same with this.

I am sure I will have more information as the weeks go on - and hopefully more specifically from an orthopedist who will treat the baby after birth (if necessary, of course ... I am still believing God for that miracle healing!!!!)

Thanks for praying for and with us!

Its another ... BOY!!!

2010-03-04T09:14:00.002-06:00

We are very excited to learn that we are expecting another baby boy!
We also learned from our ultrasound that our sweet boy has club feet. They are called "club" because it resembles a golf club. His little feet both turn in at the ankles. He is otherwise perfectly developing and healthy, but we are heart broken to begin a journey with a birth defect once again. Not the words any parent wants to hear - and certainly not twice.

We really don't have a lot of information yet. We've been told that this is fixed "relatively easily" - easily if its not YOUR baby :) - and we are grateful for that.

We trust that God is in control and we know that He has a perfect plan for our little guy. And we are anxious to see His plans play out. I am only 18 weeks along, so we have some time before this baby's arrival. During that time, we are asking everyone to pray for COMPLETE HEALING! We know God is a God of miracles and we want to flood heaven with prayers for this baby. We accept and praise God for whatever outcome He desires, but will BELIEVE for a miracle! Please join us in believing and trusting God in this situation.

This has already been a roller coaster of emotion and I have no doubt it will continue to be as we move forward. I will update facebook and our family blog as I learn/know more information. In the meantime, please be praying specifically for healing as well as wisdom & peace for Ed and me - and feel free to pass this on to anyone else you know that will be a faithful prayer warrior with us!
Thanks, Angela

I'm gettin' a new sister!

2010-01-05T17:16:00.004-06:00

My little brother, Erin is getting married!

I'm so excited for him and for our whole family! His fiancee, Beth (who my kids already call "Aunt Beth") is wonderful! We all adore her and are excited to be "officially" adding her to the family!

Jordan & Jadyn will be flower girls and Jake & Jace will be ring bearers in the wedding! I can't think of a bigger honor and what treasured memories for all of us!

I'm also honored to be a bridesmaid ... even though I'll be waddling down the aisle since the wedding is slated for late June! :) I'm thrilled to be included!

It will be a whirlwind 6 months for the two of them! Lots of fun in store ... wedding planning and beyond!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-14T15:22:00.002-06:00

Watch closely ...

The Sustala Six is becoming The Sustala Seven!!

Journey with Jordan!

2009-11-29T08:37:00.016-06:00

We had so much fun at the Buddy Walk this year! Jordan had 22 people on her team!!! Thanks to everyone who participated with us!

Team "Journey with Jordan"

Jordan was on cloud-nine and loved having everyone there just for her! We wore leis to make our team look cohesive. They looked good, but they sure were scratchy. I really liked that the Buddy Walk T-shirts were navy except for the folks with Down Syndrome - theirs were red. It really made them stand out!

Jordan spent most of her time on Uncle Erin's shoulders. He was a really great sport!

His shirt says "I AM ... ALL THAT IS MAN"
The 'boys' riding in the wagon

Uncle Erin with Jordan and Beth with Jake

Jadyn & Jace in the wagon, seconds before Jace passed out :)

Medals at the finish!

Kylie & Jace takin' a snooze
Stopping for a snack

Sorry!

2009-11-29T08:31:00.002-06:00

I've mentioned before what game fanatics we are in this family.

And, we start 'em young around here ...

Eric leaves for the Army

2009-11-29T08:09:00.009-06:00

My little brother, Eric came home from the Marines a few months ago and has now joined the Army! He wants to do special forces with the Army.

My mom had a going-away party for him which was a lot of fun!

Eric with my kidsMe with my "little" brothers, Eric & Erin.

I'm standing as high on my toes as I can get!
Being silly with his cake and Jace's sippy cup

Fall Costumes

2009-11-29T07:55:00.008-06:00

My mother-in-law has graciously provided our kids with costumes every fall and the kids love it! This year, she took them shopping to pick them out and here's what they chose:

Cinderella, Storm Trooper and Princess Leia ... we had a mini-Spider Man as well, but he was in no mood to be photographed! Who knew Spider Man woke up grumpy from naps?

My Dad

2009-11-11T06:43:00.003-06:00

My dad passed away Sunday night. He had been sick for a long time and had been in Hospice for about a month. It was a long road.

My relationship with my dad wasn't the typical father-daughter relationship. It didn't even begin in the typical way. That's to say that he adopted me when I was 11. Not that he EVER treated me as anything but his own flesh and blood. He loved me and adored me. I never doubted that.

It wasn't the ideal, but it was what I had. At the end of it all, he was my daddy. And I loved him very much.

Sharks & Soccer

2009-11-06T22:28:00.004-06:00

Jake and Jadyn had their soccer team pictures made a couple weeks ago. I didn't have my camera for Jadyn's pictures (because Ed & Jake had it on the camp out). But, here are the Sharks (minus one player)! Serious pose:And, being silly: This is the 3rd season for 3 of the boys to play together and the second for another two boys - and it shows on the field! They are so fun to watch! Jake loves it more every week. He has become a pretty good defensive player. Its really fun to watch him develop and work hard. We've talked about him doing some exercises at home to prepare for Spring soccer so that he has more endurance when he gets the chance to play offense. Which totally cracks me up. I mean, he's SEVEN! The kid has some serious focus for sure! He just showed up that way.

As for Jadyn, let's just say that it doesn't look like soccer is her thing! She's cute as she can be out there, but, seriously, her season cannot end soon enough for me! For such a feisty little thang, she turns to mush on the soccer field. She runs (sort of) up and down the field, but mainly because she's following/chasing the other kids. She barely notices the ball! One week, in the middle of the game, she was at one end of the field comparing shoes with a little girl from the other team while the ball (and other players) were at the opposite end of the field! It was hilarious!

Cub Scout Campout

2009-11-06T22:05:00.012-06:00

Jakey went on his first campout a couple weeks ago and loved every minute of it!!

They went fishing, (without much luck!), roasted marshmallows & ate smores, slept in a tent, saw alligators, armadillos and deer, climbed trees, played games and had plenty of boys around to play with! He even got to help with one of the flag ceremonies. What more could he ask for?

It was a little chilly at night, but nothing some hot chocolate in the morning couldn't take care of!

He was dog-tired when he got home, but is already looking forward to next time!

S-wii-t Game Deals!

2009-10-29T15:20:00.006-06:00

At the risk of turning this into a bargain-blog, I'm sharing another really good deal. Here are some nifty game bargains at Target until tomorrow (Sat. 11/7)!

Target is running a Buy-2-Get-1-Free sale on Wii games ($49.99 and less) and many are already on sale as low as $14.99. There's also a '$10 off 2' games coupon from their toy catalog or online HERE, making this a "s-wii-t" deal!! You can get 3 games for as little as $20!

You can also score Connect 4 for FREE! Target has the games for $10. Print a $5 manufacturer (Hasbro) coupon HERE and you can combine it with a $5 Target coupon HERE. That's right ... FREE! Look for the boxes specially marked with a coupon for a FREE Dominoes pizza as well.

Enjoy ... and I'll cool it on the deal posting. If you're interested in finding out about bargains like this and more, subscribe to one (or more) of these blogs:

Deal Seeking Mom

Moneywise Moms

The Prudent Patron

Freebies 4 Mom

Sweet Deals

2009-10-27T02:29:00.002-06:00

I've become a bit of a coupon/bargain geek recently. Its almost like a hobby to see just how good a deal I can get. :)

So, here are a couple deals that I thought were pretty sweet:

Seventh Generation Chlorine Free Diapers - http://www.moneysavingmom.com/money_saving_mom/2009/10/amazoncom-seventh-generation-diapers-or-training-pants-for-585-per-package.html

And, if you have a little girl into castles (and, really, what little girl isn't?), this is a GREAT deal:
http://www.dealseekingmom.com/playskool-dream-town-sweet-lily-castle-with-dress-up-73-off/

You can make these deals even better if you're earning/saving Amazon gift cards through Swagbucks! That's the easiest free money I've found!

Changes in my Kitchen!

2009-10-25T21:08:00.004-06:00

I have a favorite new book ... Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon.
Its not for the faint of heart. In fact the subtitle is "The Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictocrats." Yeah. Like I said. The subtitle actually had me at hello. Then, I started reading.
This book WILL challenge everything you've always "known" to be true about health, diet, foods, etc. If you don't want to be challenged in that, DO NOT read this book.

Even though its technically a cookbook, much of it reads like a book. Like a research book. And I like research - especially about this topic. It has helped re-invigorate a passion in me for good nutrition and serving my family in that manner.

Many of you know that as a family we made some drastic diet changes back in 2002-2003. We nixed sugar, wheat, corn, cow dairy, soy and others. Then, in Dec 2005, we moved to Iowa. And started homeschooling. And had another baby. And moved again. And again. And, well, I just got lazy in the food department. We still stayed mostly gluten-free and organic at home, but I was very lax when we were out and found myself using more processed foods than I knew I should & I had allowed the sugar to creep back in. Its sort of like exercise. As long as you're in the habit and rhythm, it becomes part of your life. But, when you stop, going back is really hard! Being lazy is just much easier. Or at least it feels that way until you get your butt off the couch and feel the adrenaline rush of regular exercise! (can you tell what I need to do?)

In the last few months, Jordan has developed psoriasis. It took months to even get a diagnosis and now that we have one, we're still not any further ahead. After trying everything in my arsenal of natural remedies, we've resorted to a conventional dermatologist. Anyone that knows me, knows that isn't my preference and certainly not my first choice. But, the biggest part of going the "alternative" route is being responsible for your health. And, frankly, laziness just doesn't jive with that! Besides, there is a time and place for medicine. I don't have a beef with conventional medicine, I have a beef with the OVER-USE of conventional medicine & a beef with anyone being in control of your health except you. But, that's a soapbox for another day.

My point today is that I've decided its worth the effort to take the reigns of my family's health once again. So, what I know to be true is that skin issues=liver issues. I'm not brave enough to try a cleanse on a 9 year old, so that means I need to feed her foods that help the body detox. She's a GREAT eater. But, she ain't THAT great. She is nine, after all. So, we supplement. That's all well and good. But, still, we're not getting ahead of the autoimmune disease.

Then, I get my hands on Nourishing Traditions (NT) and it just rocked my world. I am learning so much! It is overwhelming in many ways, but much of it lines up with what I've been researching lately. Especially with regard to soaked and sprouted grains. I've been grinding my own grain (!!) and while I haven't made soaked or sprouted grain bread yet, I have made soaked pancakes, flatbread and granola bars. All yummy and big hits with the kids. I won't lie. Its really time-consuming. I've spent a lot of time in the kitchen lately. But, I'm quickly figuring out how to plan and streamline it all. Planning is really the key. I've pretty much always had some sort of menu plan, now that plan just requires a little more planning! LOL! For example, to make the soaked flatbread, you have to have yogurt (which takes a full day to make), plus grind wheat & mix with the yogurt and let that soak for 24 hours ... then, you roll out the dough! Even though its basically a 3-day process, it doesn't require any extensive amount of time on any one day. Its just the PLANNING that's important!

NT is not about being gluten or dairy free ... or free of anything necessarily. Its about eating the foods that are good for our bodies in ways that our bodies can use. There are many recipes and most of them are time-consuming. Some of them are downright daunting. I said its not for the faint of heart. Its also not for the time-crunched. I know that probably doesn't "sell" you on the book, but I'm just calling it like I see it. Everything in life is a trade-off and the changes I'm making in my kitchen are worth it for our family in this season. That may or may not be the case for your family.

Here's the irony of this book. About half-way through, I dug out some of the diet stuff I'd gotten from my midwife in Iowa (remember the food-nazi?). Guess the ONE book she recommended? Yup. I just wasn't ready then. Now I am. At the end of the day, that's what it takes. She planted the seed and God watered it in His time. So maybe I've planted the seed for you! :)

Life in Pictures

2009-10-25T20:03:00.016-06:00

Some recent pictures of the goings-on around the Sustala Home ...

We've had some beautiful weather the past couple weeks, so we took a bunch of pictures one afternoon outside. Here are a few...

Jace, Jake Jordan, Jadyn

Trampoline fun
Jace climbing up to the slide

Jordan being silly
Jadyn enjoying a popsicle
Jake - not terribly interested in stopping for a photo
Jadyn again ... I have a gazillion of her.

She loves the camera. Loves posing.

Loves being in the "spotlight" and

being the center of attention.

All the world is her runway ...

The camera loves her, too!And, on other days ...

Is this Jadyn again?

Jace loves to climb on everything! He is a busy boy! He climbed on the coffee table, looked at me proudly and wagged his finger, saying "no, no!" At least he knows the rules. Never mind obeying them!

One benefit of a busy boy ... he sleeps! And, if mama doesn't get you down for a nap, the living room floor works just fine!

*I realized as I uploaded my pictures that Jace is wearing the same outfit in every picture despite the fact they were taken on different days! What can I say? He 'suffers' from "number-four-itis."*

We had a garage sale last weekend and I toyed with the idea of getting rid of this mirror. But, after some thought, I decided it could be cute in Jadyn's room ...

...if we glammed it up a bit! We just mod podged some paper and hot glued some sparkly beads! She loves it and she loved helping me fix it up! I wish I had painted the wood and iron, but I took the quick way out. I can always go back and do those (the hard way).

Hair bow-Palooza: When I was making hair bows for Jordan's birthday party, I also whipped some up for Kylie and Jadyn. Jordan's decided she's not as hip on them as she once was, preferring instead to go the headband route ... or nothing at all {gasp!}

Jordan's BD Party

2009-10-17T06:07:00.012-06:00

I'm nearly a month late in posting this ... but, as "they" say, better late than never, right?

Jordan invited her cousins to a bowling party for her birthday. We had so much fun! I totally copied this idea (thanks, Shea!) from a birthday party Jake went to a while back. I made T-shirts for each of the kids. I had to girly it up a bit with matching hairbows! Then, I used the bows as ribbons on their gift bags.

Bowling has become Jordan's favorite game on the Wii and she's actually pretty good. She liked real-life bowling just as much, but let's just say her score was a tad lower! Even with bumpers! :)

We had a fun time ... thanks to everyone that celebrated with us!

Buddy Walk 2009

2009-10-16T08:26:00.003-06:00

We would love for YOU to join Jordan's team "Journey with Jordan" to help us support our beautiful girl and help raise awareness about Down Syndrome!

Go to our team page HERE and register. The first 15 people to sign up will receive a button to wear at the walk. We will also have *something* (read: I-don't-know-what-yet) to help our team look cohesive and stand out! (ideas??)

If you can't join us at the walk in person, you can still support JOURNEY WITH JORDAN as a Team Donor.

This is the only event we participate in with the Down Syndrome community. We think education, research and awareness are all important to one day having a system that will allow people with Down Syndrome to lead completely 'normal' lives - void of the medical, mental, social and neurological issues many deal with. Jordan struggles every day to learn things that come easily to "typical" children. I am so proud of the hard work she puts in, mentally and physically, but I also look forward to the day when it won't be such a struggle for kids like her & parents like us. I believe that day will come and I appreciate your support and help in getting us there!

I Looove it!

2009-10-15T15:11:00.002-06:00

I have plenty of catching up to do ... but couldn't resist a quick post to share this wonderful quote found at Adventures of a Somewhat Crunchy Mama:

"Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to public school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood."

I loooove it!!!

Cub Scouts

2009-09-25T08:04:00.003-06:00

Jake went to his first Pack Meeting last week and has been to two Den Meetings.
If you've never had a son in Scouts, let me just tell you that there's a learning curve involved! If you have had a son in Scouts, you may recall the overload-of-new-information.

The lingo alone cracks me up. Then there's the Cub Scout handshake. The Cub Scout Promise. The Law of the Pack. The Cub Scout sign. Motto. Salute. Uniforms. Living Circle Ceremony. On and on it goes. Serious learning curve.

Fortunately, its completely worth it! Not only does Jake absolutely LOOOVE it, but the values Scouts instills are completely in-line with our family. Lots of family/parent involvement, serious focus on respecting/helping others, instilling a strong work ethic and fierce love of/commitment to our country. In addition, we joined a Christian Homeschool Pack.

Jakey is already learning some really great things - like how to handle and fold the American flag and is looking forward to his first campout next month.

My 9th Anniversary of being a Mom!

2009-09-22T13:29:00.012-06:00

If I celebrate 9 years of being a mom, it can only mean one thing ...

Its Jordan's birthday! I know I say this with every birthday, but seriously, where does the time go? It seems like it flies faster and faster with each passing day!

I wish I had baby pictures in digital format (or at the very least, that my scanner was working!). It would be fun to post some of her baby pictures. Unfortunately, this is the only digital newborn picture I have of her ... The best I can do are pictures from when I first started blogging.

2006 (love those missing teeth!)

February 2007

September 2007

May 2008

September 2009

I've written before about how hard the first few months of her life were. What we couldn't fathom those first few weeks was THIS GIRL. The life we have with her. The joy that comes from being her mom (and dad ... I'll just speak for Ed here). The interests and abilities she now has. All we had then were preconceived ideas of Down Syndrome based on faulty notions, which in reality had no basis in fact. They are likely the very same ideas that (dare I say?) *most* people walk around with. Even a lot of people who have "experience" with Down Syndrome.

Jordan is a beautiful, smart, active girl who loves dancing, performing, books, school and all things music!

I have loved being a mom for nine years and I'm so thankful for my girl that started it all!

No Rest for the Weary

2009-09-16T00:39:00.002-06:00

Why do smoke detector batteries ONLY get low in the middle of the night? We've owned 5 different homes in the last 11 years and have not heard a smoke detector beep at us in daylight hours once. We even had the privilege of dealing with one in a vacation home one year! Is there something about the dark that drains the last bit of it?
This time we have the privilege of a TALKING smoke detector. Not only were we awakened at 1am by the beep, it was followed by the message "Low battery." Really?? Cause we weren't sure.
To make matters worse, the low battery beep and message are coming from the main system detector.
Which just so happens to be located in our family room.
Which just so happens to have 20 foot ceilings.
Which just so happens to be twice as high as any ladder we own.
It also happens to be located about six inches from the top of the staircase ... and about 3 inches from arm's length of either one of us on top of our tallest ladder, teetering at the top of the staircase.
So, this is no ordinary middle-of-the-night-replace-your-smoke-detector-battery event. Oh, no. Ed is now in the attic, doing I-don't-even-want-to-know-what to try to shut her up! Just a minute....

Well, now I know what he was doing. He unhooked it and called me to catch it ... which I couldn't ... cause, remember, it was just out of reach from the stairs? So, it took a 20-foot tumble down the staircase and broke into several pieces.
And is still beeping!
Not only that, but it has NO BATTERY to replace!

At least its in the garage where it can beep happily away (wrapped in towels!) while we try to return to dreamland. An hour later! Goodnight.

Fall Soccer Begins

2009-09-15T16:05:00.004-06:00

Saturday was the first soccer game of the season!
Jadyn's very first game ever! I'm totally frustrated that after taking some seriously cute pictures of her, I promptly deleted them off my camera!!!! I took this one after the game and I'm not sure why she looks so goofy, but trust me when I say (with no bias whatsoever) that she was THE Cutest Soccer-girl. EVER.

I took this picture because Jake was #3 last year and kept the same number this year. Jadyn wanted to be #3, just like her big brother! So sweet! Sometimes he gets frustrated with her copying him, but I explained the phrase "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" to him and now he thinks its pretty cool. Even in spite of the accompanying responsibility it entails!

I deleted a close-up of Jadyn's cute hair bow ... again, no bias whatsoever.

Jake's team includes 5 players from last season and the skill level of each of them has jumped tremendously over the summer! Its so fun to watch them grow, not only physically, but also in their skills and their love of the game. Ed is helping coach Jake's team this season, which thrills Jake to no end.

The only drawback to Saturday was the muddy fields and drizzling rain. The Sharks and the Flyers both won by very wide margins, so it more than made up for the conditions! The season is off to a great start!

Busy Fun Fall!

2009-08-25T20:34:00.000-06:00

As most people are doing the 'back-to-school' craziness, we have a pass. One of the lesser-discussed perks of homeschooling.

Don't get me wrong, I have spent a good deal of time hunting down every last super-cheap and free school supply there is! I love school (and office) supplies.

Here's our loot! Less than $20 for all you see here!

One thing I've learned the last 3 years of homeschooling is that you better stock up in August, because if you go looking for school supplies any other time of year, you're going to pay big bucks! Learned that the hard way, can you tell?

So we're all stocked up on supplies. But, we have no need for a new lunchbox. Or new clothes. (I love the fact that I don't "need" to provide an entire new wardrobe for each of my kids who may or may not have outgrown the clothes they just wore a couple short months ago ... can you tell I think back-to-school is too commercialized???) We do need new backpacks - but we'll dig through the clearance aisles after the frenzy dies down. Hopefully we won't use our backpacks as much this year - my goal is to actually HOME-school more and 'out-and-about-school' less. Homeschooling is frequently a misnomer, kind of like a stay-at-home-mom. Neither one really stays at home as much as you might think! :)

Things are still getting busy for us, even without a 'first' day of school!

Jordan had her first orthodontist appointment last week. She has an under bite, grinds her teeth and has a very small, low palette (common in Down Syndrome). We went to the same orthodontist that did my braces as a kid, which was fun! He said he remembered me, but considering I'm nearly 25 years post-braces, I have my doubts! They did some x-rays, discovered Jordan is congenitally missing a couple teeth (and thought she was missing others until I told them what they thought were baby teeth are actually her very tiny adult teeth!). The missing teeth will work in her favor, since her jaw is so small (another 'perk' of DS). She goes back in 6 months and for now, they are just going to evaluate how her jaw is growing.

Jordan is actually in the throws of several doctor appointments this month. She's already been to the Pediatrician and Orthodontist, and she's going to the Cardiologist Thursday and also has a Dermatologist appointment coming up! Funny for a family that doesn't typically spend much time visiting doctors!

Last week we finished gymnastics. Can't believe its over already. Jake is returning to soccer (starting his 3rd year) and Jordan is returning to ballet! Jadyn has decided to take a break from gymnastics and try soccer. Now, that should be interesting! She says she wants to do ballet in the Spring and decide what of the three she likes best. Weighing all of her options!

Jake is starting Cub Scouts this year. Its a homeschool pack - so no school schedules to work around for campouts and den meetings. Their first campout is coming up in October! Camping is so NOT my thing, so that will be a great daddy-son weekend.

We've also {finally} joined a homeschool support group and plan to attend park days and field trips!

So, our weeks will be full and fun this fall: In addition to three soccer practices & 2 games, ballet, cub scouts, park days and field trips, I will be attending a women's bible study each week and Ed & I will be attending a couple's life group ("community group") as well. I'm really looking forward to it all. I feel like I spent the last year sitting out of so many things, so it feels good to get back into 'life!' I always do better the busier I am!

I've made a conscious effort to avoid morning activities (except for ballet), in order to have a more consistent school routine (AT home!). We've been in a pretty good rhythm this summer, so hopefully that will carry over.

Looking forward to sharing our fun adventures this fall! I'm sure I'll have plenty of pictures to share!

Money, money, money ...

2009-08-20T23:29:00.003-06:00

One of the things that I've spent a good deal of time on recently, but haven't blogged about is money. Specifically, being a better steward of it. Saving it. Living more simply. More frugally.

I've been working at saving money where I can - mainly by not spending as much (go figure!) and by saving on groceries. I've been amazed at how easily I've been able to use coupons, sales, CVS and a few blogs (a couple of which are listed on the right side of my blog) to cut our grocery bill from $200 per week to about $140 per week. Those of you who know me, know I buy a lot of organic and gluten/wheat free stuff. So, I've started buying fresh goat's milk from the farm and organic/sustainably produced produce from the farmer's market. It is more time consuming. And, I've had to give up some things to make time for it. But, I wasn't willing to sacrifice the quality of food for my family just to spend less money on groceries.
"They" always say that time is money and it is true. You are going to spend one or the other!
I've gone back to making my own yogurt (with my farm-fresh milk, of course!), which I haven't done in years! I'd forgotten how EASY and how much healthier it is!
And, I have a few other goals to tackle in the coming months:
1)Bake and cook from scratch, using soaked or sprouted grains as much as possible and grinding my own flours! My goal is to be able to make all of our baked goods homemade!
2)Make our own cereals, condiments, snack bars, etc
3)Learn canning (I'm starting this week with some peach salsa using the peaches and cilantro we picked up at the farmer's market today) & hope to move on to freezer jam and then to veggies!
4)Making more homemade/handmade gifts ... look out, family! :)
5) Plant a garden and grow some vegetables and herbs
6)Learn to sew and
7)Make our own {natural} household cleaners, soaps, etc.
I still have some half-finished furniture painting projects around here - most noteably, my dining room! So, that's first!!
I'll post some pictures along the way ... I'm sure this will be quite the adventure!

I {heart} NACD

2009-08-15T15:06:00.003-06:00

If you know me or have been reading my blog for a while, you may be sick of me talking about NACD. But, one thing is for sure, you also know how blessed I feel to know about and to have my kids on program with the National Association of Child Development.

Most recently, they've added a new website specifically about Down Syndrome. Lots of good information for families and others interested in issues related to Down Syndrome. Check it out HERE.

I have received several emails recently from people that research NACD and "stumble" on my blog in a google search. Because of that & because they all ask how I found out about/got started with NACD, I want to share how my journey with NACD began. It's a story that only God could weave together like this ...

I have twin brothers that are 14 years my junior. My baby brothers, never mind the fact they now tower over me! They were having some learning issues (including Dyslexia) when they were in early elementary school. In an attempt to save them from Special Ed, my mom pulled them out of school, began homeschooling and started on program with NACD. I was in college at the time and didn't know details about what my mom was doing, but within a few months, there was a profound difference in both of them. Within just a couple short years {relatively speaking}, they no longer had symptoms of Dyslexia and were no longer on program with NACD! There was no denying the progress that had been made, the success that was attributable to (my mom's hard work and) NACD's approach and program. I didn't realize/appreciate at the time just what an impact it would have in my life!

A few years later, when my daughter was born and we learned about her diagnosis of Down Syndrome, I knew immediately that I would (at least) give NACD a try. We took her to her first appointment in Dallas when she was only 6 months old. It was overwhelming, but also very empowering. I was so impressed with the way Lyn looked at Jordan as an individual. She talked to me about what she saw as her weaknesses and needs & asked what my priorities were for Jordan. She mentioned some issues to monitor closely that tend to be common in children with Down Syndrome, but she never mentioned an approach or a program for Down Syndrome. She gave me a unique program that was specifically for Jordan (and me!).

We have now been on program for 8 1/2 years. I am not only on board with the neurodevelopmental approach in general, but I also treasure having their expertise and help when it comes to providing the best possible future for my daughter. My 7 year old son is also on program (a homeschool program) and in addition to a God-given gifting, I attribute his acceleration in large part to NACD.

I have little doubt that eventually our other children will be on program as well. NACD doesnt pay me/compensate me in any way for promoting them (although maybe they should??? A discount might be nice :)). I just really believe in it!

I'm always open to answering specific questions or emails about NACD, but hope this will answer the question I am asked the most!

Famine Relief ... again!

2009-08-09T21:27:00.001-06:00

Seems that no matter how much I want to keep this blog updated, I fall short pretty consistently. Sheesh!

I have actually been working on it, even if without new posts. I was ready for a new look, and after several updates in the past (for free!), I just didn't feel comfortable asking my sister-in-law's friend to do it again! So, I've spent some time working on a face lift for my blog. I'm not totally happy with it ... it has some issues. And, at the very least, I need a new header picture of my kids. Better yet, a picture of the Sustala Six would be good!! While you're checking out my new look, check out Swagbucks (the top link) - I just earned a free Amazon gift card - just for using Swagbucks as my search engine! I love FREE stuff!

In other news, here are some recent pix of life and kids ...

Jace has become not only a walker,

but also a climber and, therefore, a faller.

He's a brute, so he doesn't cry & rarely gets hurt.

Someone knock on wood. Quick.

Jake attended a soccer camp each evening last week.

It was much needed relief from soccer-withdrawals.
Just enough to tide him over until the fall season begins in a few weeks.
Here he is with his friend, Christopher, during a sno-cone break one night.

And, the Tomball fire department was kind enough to
show up one night. Just to teach the kids about water conservation.

My silly kids!

Jace has graduated from the 'highchair' tray to the table!A couple cute, random pics ...

Precious Mommy Moment

2009-08-09T19:25:00.004-06:00

I've been working on an update post (and am hoping to actually get it posted tonight) - but I just had to share a sweet moment with Jace.

One of those precious moments when you wish you could just capture it and hold it forever. It overwhelmed my heart with how lucky I am to be his mom. To have this time to love and enjoy him. It was one of those times when my mommy heart captured the way he looked at me - so that even when he is a grown man, that is the face my mind will remember.

I know I've billed it as a life altering happening. It really wasn't. Except for me.

While I was getting him ready for bed, he just got still and quiet. He talked to me in a soft baby voice and smiled. So sweetly. Sweet face and sweet voice. For several minutes. Just me and my baby. Precious.

Nothing truly major in the grand scheme of things, but if you had been the one looking into that precious little face, I'd like to think the tears would have been flowing for you, too. Cause that way I don't feel like such a sap. But sap or not, it was just precious and I thank God for those times when He shows me not only how blessed I am, but also gives me a glimpse of how much He {God} loves me. How much He treasures the moments when I stop to be quiet with Him.

I'm always amazed that God can use such a routine moment in the day to convict me and move me.

13 ... and Counting

2009-07-20T09:25:00.007-06:00

Today, Ed and I are celebrating our 13th anniversary.

Statistically speaking, we shouldn't have made it this long ... both of us coming from divorced families, getting married {when Ed was} so young, having a child with special needs and various other issues that "should" have factored against us.

Thankfully, God had other plans! We have had some wonderfully amazing times, some downright dark times and a whole lot in between.

In retrospect, I'm thankful for the dark times. Those are the times that built the intimacy in our marriage. That taught me about phases of marriage. Taught me that marriage is never stagnant. Those are the times that taught me my marriage is worth fighting for. Working for. And every dark time brought immense light in the end. I love that man so much more today than I could have imagined 13 years ago. Not that he doesn't drive me crazy. 'Cause he seriously does. In many a way. But, our commitment is deeper and our love is stronger.

We went out Saturday night to celebrate and talked about going to premarital counseling, where the pastor did some personality profiles and such. The results told us that Ed had a very idealistic, romantic view of marriage. I, on the other hand, had a very pessimistic view. How's that for a combination? It had "happily ever after" written all over it, don't you think? I remember listening to those results, thinking Ed was just a romantic (which he is!) and that in a few years, he would see how naive he was. Thankfully, I was the naive one!

I love you, babe ... more today than yesterday. Happy Anniversary.

Twenty Years Pass in a Flash

2009-07-17T07:39:00.007-06:00

This past weekend, we attended my 20-year high school reunion. Seriously ... I am NOT old enough for this! It just doesn't seem possible! I am the age my mom was when I graduated from high school! WHAT???? I'm not THAT old! And, now I know she wasn't either.

I always thought nearly-40 would feel different. Older. And, in reading my memory book, I also thought I would be married and have a baby by 23!!! I didn't even meet Ed until I was almost 24! But, at eighteen, 23 seemed ... well ... old! It is, as they say, all relative! My memory book also says I weighed 110 pounds my senior year - and I thought I was so fat! Ha! Again, ALL relative. Oh, to be that "fat" again!

In the last few months, I've reconnected with some old friends via facebook and that really sparked more interest in my reunion. I'm so glad I went! It was more fun than I imagined it would be. It was at the Hyatt Regency in downtown Houston, so Ed and I stayed the night. Which was a much-needed getaway for us. We had a beautiful view of the city from our room and enjoyed sleeping in! It was the first time I'd left Jace overnight, but he did great with Grandma.

We went with my friend, Nancy and her husband, Jason. She's one of the few high school friends I've kept in touch with over the years. She was my best friend throughout high school, we were in each other's weddings ... one of those kinds of life-long friends! But, even though we've kept in touch, we haven't spent much time together in years! I've only seen her once since we moved back to town, but we had a blast together! The night went by way too fast - and we stayed up way too late (at least for old people!!) - which are good indicators that it was indeed fun!

I loved getting to see some old friends (that's me and my friend, Cindy above) and there were others that I wish had been there ... but maybe at the 25 or 30 year ... when we're REALLY old! LOL!

I wish I'd taken more pictures, but I was too busy having fun!

Subscribe to my blog!

2009-07-07T07:08:00.004-06:00

How cool am I? It only took me three years to figure out how to add a way for people to subscribe to my blog - with a reader OR through email! I'm totally jazzed about this, folks!

So, for all my crazy fans out there - all three of you - you can now enter your email in that little box to the right ----------> and get an email each time I post an update.
Or if you're a blogger yourself and you want to follow along in a reader, there's an option for that just below the email option.

AND, AND, AND ... I'm even cool-er ... because there's also a little button to find me on Facebook as well. Can't say I'm that great at catching all the updates on fb ... its a little too time-consuming for my current life, but I do catch a few.

There's no stopping me now! :-)

First {Wobbly} Steps!

2009-07-05T14:17:00.004-06:00

I can hardly believe we have an actual average aged child to take his first steps! It only took 4 kids to get here! Not that we've ever been in a hurry for our kids to walk ('cause I find it SO much easier as the parent to have a late walker - for a whole host of reasons), but average would be O.K.
Before today, the earliest walker was Jake at 14 months. Jadyn was 15 months and Jordan ... oh, bless her heart ... she was 20 months. Two months AFTER Jake was born, I might add. Yeah, that was fun.
But, I digress. This is all about our Little Man!

Last week, Jace took several steps, several times in a row. Since then ... nada. Until today. It all clicked - the light bulb went off - the desire kicked in - and the muscles cooperated. He turned 13 months four days ago.

So, for your viewing pleasure - a couple attempts to catch it on video.

***Let me just apologize for my squeals. New walkers are one of my very favorite things in the whole world and clearly, I get carried away. You might want to lower your volume. Seriously.***

Happy Birthday, Kylie!

2009-06-29T11:47:00.009-06:00

Kylie Today is our niece's 2nd birthday. Happy Birthday, Kylie!!

It seems like just yesterday that we were flying down from Iowa to meet her for the first time.

Saturday was her birthday party. At a park. With 102 temps. It was brutally hot, but my little red-faced kiddos all had fun in spite of the heat.

Kylie & her mama, Stacey

Taking a break to eat!

Jace with Ed's cousin, Audra's little girl, Natalie - she wanted to sit by Jace to eat and was so cute with him!

Hot & sweaty birthday girl

Happy Birthday, sweet girl! We love you!

Fun Days

2009-06-26T21:18:00.010-06:00

Yesterday, the kids and I had the opportunity to go visit my Great Uncle George (my grandfather's brother). My kids' Great-Great Uncle! Pretty cool. My mom's cousin, Jan, is a singer with the Dallas Symphony Chorus. She came to Houston put on a performance at her dad's assisted living community. The kids loved it ... even Jake, who, of all my kids, is the least interested in music. She was THAT good!

Jadyn, Jake & Jordan with their Great-Great Uncle

We had a fun time. In the midst of diapers, dishes, laundry and all the rest, its easy to forget what joy kids bring to people just by being present. Wanna make someone's day? Walk into a nursing home or assisted living center with your kids. Sure felt good to bring a smile to so many faces!

***************************************

Today, we played outside for a while, despite the oppressing heat. Brutal summer so far, I tell ya. Even for Houston. Anyway, as I've said before, the only way to survive outside right now is in water. I'm not brave enough to take all my (non-swimmer) children to the pool alone, so we did the next best thing. We played in the sprinkler and with the water table today.

If you're a 7-year-old boy with {more energy than a sprinkler can provide fun for} a crazy sprinkler like this, of course you pretend you're a secret spy and the water is laser beams. Cracked me up. Especially when he tried to get the girls in on it, too. Funny, they didn't have the same level of interest in that little game.

We all had a great time. Jace loves the water as much as Jordan did at his age. So fun!!

Another fan

2009-06-26T20:21:00.003-06:00

Seems as though we have a new Hannah Montana fan in the house!

Judging Others

2009-06-26T19:54:00.004-06:00

I recently started reading the blog, LIKE A WARM CUP OF COFFEE.

Read the posts on judgement HERE and HERE. Good. Biblical. Convicting.

For those of us that are highly passionate about certain topics, sometimes its easy to blur the line between passion and judgement.

How His Brain Works

2009-06-24T08:42:00.003-06:00

I just had such an interesting conversation with Jakey. Very typical him ...

He was telling me about where he'd put a bunch of things on his bed. He knows his right from his left very well. But, as he was describing things he was saying left while holding up his right hand and vice versa. I let it go a few times, but then corrected him. He gave me a puzzled look and then explained, "But, mom, my bed faces this way..." Oh, Duh.

My problem was that we were standing in the kithcen and he was telling me the directions based on where we were in the house ... not as if we were standing, looking at his bed!!! Oh, my goodness.

And I'm supposed to be teaching him??

A Day in Pictures

2009-06-22T20:50:00.010-06:00

Our new toy ...

A favorite Saturday morning activity - pancakes by Daddy!

Tissue paper flowers in Jadyn's new room

Jace walking behind a push toy - getting a little closer to walking.

He may be our earliest yet. :-)

Jadyn playing dress up - the costume is on backwards! :-)

Some of my favorite pictures of my kids are around this age, playing dress up.

Celebrating Dads

2009-06-22T20:31:00.004-06:00

I'm not sure how this evolved, but we always do gifts for special occassions first thing in the morning ... generally in our bed. Father's Day qualifies - the kids and I gave Ed a new watch, a fishing T-shirt and cap and some butterfingers.

Jace was on the bed, too, but was not interested in being still long enough to make it into a picture.

Then, we went to the 8:30 service at church, just because we were all ready (how often does THAT happen in a house with 4 kids? Not very, I assure you!)

For lunch, Ed's sister, Stacey & her family as well as Ed's dad and stepmom came over. We had yummy food and a fun time. We were able to celebrate three dads at once. Kylie's dad, Eddie's dad and my kids' dad.

Ken's eyes are closed. Stacey has a better one on her blog. Ed & Ken are hard to photograph. Especially together.

Fun times.

I meant to take a picture of Ed with his dad and Jake. Its like 3 generations of look-alikes. Next time!

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-22T01:32:00.006-06:00

**I don't know why blogger isn't cooperating with me on this post ... I wanted to post a few other pictures, but I'm already a day late and a dollar short ...

My kids are the luckiest. And so am I.

Ed is the best father! The best daddy. And there is a difference. We all have fathers, but not all of us are lucky enough to have a daddy. I praise God that my kids do.

One day to honor him for all he is and does ... one little blog post ... just doesn't even come close.

Words cannot express how much I love him, how thankful I am for the dad that he is. For the privilege of being his wife. For the honor of walking this journey of parenthood together.

Thank you, babe, for being so intentional about being a dad. For taking it seriously - even while acting silly. We love you and are so thankful for you. Happy Father's Day.

Children's Museum

2009-06-20T19:42:00.016-06:00

Thursday, we took the kids to the Children's Museum in Houston. It was AWESOME! We had such a great time. There are so many cool things to do there. I highly recommend it. The kids and the grown ups had a blast! I'm looking forward to taking the kids more often, since we bought a membership. This will totally keep us from missing the Science Center in Des Moines so much.

I took a gazillion pictures ... here's just a few of the favorites

stopping for a smile...but hurry, mom!

"working" as EMTs ... check out Ed in the background

Jadyn "working" as a vet - this was her favorite!

Jordan "checking out" at the "grocery store" - this was her favorite!

Jake on the pulley seat

Jakey on the climb-y thing - this was his favorite!

closer view

Jake & Jordan getting sprayed by the "Flow Works" bowl - this was MY favorite!! Nothing like a nice cool shower in the Houston heat. I love Jordan's face in this picture.

Jace had a blast playing in the "Tot Spot"

"Yay! Finally something for me!"

His favorite was the mirror!

Moving More Furniture

2009-06-17T19:09:00.011-06:00

Remember my new school room? Well, a few days later, we decided to separate the girls into their own rooms. Our house has 5 bedrooms, so we have the luxury of letting each of the kids have their own room. And, the girls just weren't sleeping well (or enough) even after sharing a room for 8 months.

Jordan got her full size bed back and we split up the bunkbeds for Jake & Jadyn. Jadyn's room is in serious need of some decorating. I bought a Martha Stewart tissue paper kit a while back (on clearance at WalMart) that will look adorable!

Remember the BEAST of a computer desk that needed to be moved from the school-room-turned-playroom (now Jadyn's room)? Well, I lured my little brothers over with steak. They earned it, for sure!

I was giving Jace a bath while the boys were moving this thing, so Erin's girlfriend Beth took pictures for me. Here's a few extras I was pleasantly surprised to find on my camera! My kids LOVE Beth and so do I. She's beautiful - inside and out.

Boat Show

2009-06-17T16:58:00.010-06:00

After swimming today, we headed to the Houston Boat Show!

The-land-where-all-dreams-come-true for Eddie! He fully intends to pass his love of boats (and oceans and fishing) on to his children. Sadly for him, he did not marry a girl with the same love of water. I try. I really really try. Like today. A half-day of our week-long "staycation" spent wandering the halls of Reliant, looking at and admiring all things water-craft.

(I love this picture - Ed & Jake both have their eyes closed. Like father, like son! Half of the pictures I take of them are like this.)

I was diggin' the pontoon party boats. Those are Nice. And, the yachts. Oh, yeah. Now, we're talking boating I can get excited about. Ed is more interested in a fishing boat. Fishing in the ocean. One that could be used for skiing is a plus, but not a necessity. Kitchenettes, bedrooms, TVs, pillows, coffee makers, microwaves ... not on his wish-list. But a potty is. All because he knows that's the one luxury that will entice me to go with him. Occasionally.

Before the day was over, Ed found the one!

Here's why its the one.

This shows just how roomy the potty is ... or not!

It'll still be a while before we take the plunge ... so, for now, we have fun dreaming!

Swimming

2009-06-16T20:21:00.010-06:00

Its only like a thousand degrees in Houston these days ... so if you're gonna hang outside, its gotta be at the pool!

Special Plate

2009-06-16T20:07:00.003-06:00

Do you have one of these?

We've had ours forever and have rarely used it. A few weeks ago I decided the kids would enjoy getting the privilege to use it and feel special. Especially on an ordinary day.

It just so happens that we've been working on attitudes around here. The kids' attitudes when we ask them to do something or toward each other when they are wronged. One of them is able to earn the special plate to use at dinner based on their attitude during the day. I wasn't sure it would be a big deal (or worth working for, for some of them ... ahem, Jadyn), but its a huge hit! Everyone (thankfully!) has earned it multiple times so far and they continue to work towards it each day. I love hearing "Who earned the special plate today?" every night when they see me cooking dinner.

Who knows how long it will stay a big deal, but for now I'm enjoying the benefits of using it!

Houston Aquarium

2009-06-16T19:23:00.013-06:00

Today we all went to the Houston Aquarium. Lots of fun (if you don't count the 100+ degree temps)! We saw plenty of marine life and a gorgeous white tiger!

At the Entrance

Me with Jadyn, Jordan & Jake at the entrance

Waterfall

Fountain

One of the many tanks

Ed, kids & tiger

Ed & his typical silliness

Jordan

Jadyn mesmerized

Playing with the stingrays

Waiting for dad to bring the car

You may not care ...

2009-06-11T21:21:00.004-06:00

But, I'm totally jazzed about finally getting most of my pictures organized, framed and hung on the wall. If you look closely, there's one of Jace. Not bad for #4.

Disclaimer: If you're a decorator-type, I suggest you look away. Now. :-)

Sounds Too Good

2009-06-11T21:09:00.003-06:00

My favorite sound is of my kids laughing and giggling. Its just the best.
Add daddy in after work ("wrestle-time" as they call it) and it doesn't get any better.
I was cleaning up after dinner a couple days ago while listening to them and just thought, "I need to capture this..." I don't do that enough. Although this is a regular occurrence around here right now, I know it won't always be. And I also know {from experience, unfortunately} that my mind doesn't retain near as much as I think it does. Even the beautiful sounds that I think I'll never forget ...
So, here's a little snippet for your enjoyment as well. You probably won't think its as great, unless you happen to be a grandmother to one of the gigglers.

Free & Fun!

2009-06-09T19:02:00.003-06:00

It doesn't get any better than that, does it?

Here's a great idea for some summer fun that can also earn your kiddos (age 5-12) FREE binoculars! Anything that gets kids OUTSIDE more is good - and you can't beat this deal from REI.

They even provide you with a journal and a map of locations for hiking, biking, etc near you!

New School Room

2009-06-08T15:40:00.013-06:00

Anyone that knows me knows I don't generally go very long without moving furniture around in my house. Ed, being the smart husband that he is, no longer complains about it. He just lets me do my thing and helps when I ask. I know it drives him crazy, though!

True to form since we started homeschooling, I got a bug to change our school room up! It just so happened that the bedroom closest to the game room in our house (which was serving as our school room) is also the smallest room in the house. With the most furniture. Plus, my children love to be underfoot. It used to drive me batty, but I've learned to embrace it and create more space around my feet to accommodate them. :-)

Every morning, we gathered in our 10x10 school room with a ridiculous amount of furniture. With five people, it got pretty darn warm! Its no wonder I thought I was having hot flashes!

Then, there's this: upon moving here, I totally purged our toy supply. We got rid of A LOT! My kids had an outrageous number of toys. They still do, actually, but we literally got rid of everything that wasn't something they loved and played with on a regular, consistent basis. Add in the fact that I had the 3 big kids move all their little tiny toys {Polly Pockets, Legos, Littlest Pet Shop, Tech Decks, Barbies - you know, all the little toys that Jace would enjoy eating} to their rooms and we were left with a very large game room that contained surprisingly little! Plus, the game room has a built in desk that was only being used for an occassional puzzle.

You can see where this is going. A few weeks ago, I told {warned} Ed about my plans. He, of course, said, "Whatever you need, babe!" Oh, we've come such a loooong way!

So, one day last week, Jake and I tackled the mess. We cleaned things out as we went and were left with one large bag of items ready for a garage sale and a smaller bag of trash.

We are all loving our new, much cooler school room. The "playroom" that is now in the tiny bedroom is a bit cozy, but should be better once we can move the computer armoir out. See, what my little brothers don't know is the next time they come over, they will be put to work! That thing is a BEAST! And, I'm just too big a weany to heave-ho that sucker down the stairs. It doesn't help that any time I help Ed move something heavy, he makes me bust out in belly laughs that leave my muscles totally useless.

Ok, so anyway, there's actually more to this than just sharing my furniture-moving fetish. I get so many questions and emails about how I set up school/where I do school in my house, etc, so here ya go...this should cover it.

Linen-now-turned-homeschool-supply-closet!

Built-in desk

Other side of the room

The desk in the corner is Jadyn's spot!

The table is where I work with the kids one-on-one

This is a quilt that my great aunt made for Jake when he was born.

We haven't moved it yet, but this big wall will be perfect for our time line.

I kept the entertainment center/TV in here - at least for now

This is Jace's spot/stuff

As a bonus, we have a little nook right outide the kids' bedrooms. I put a small bookshelf and the majority of their books there. Its amazing how much they love that little area!! We keep small stashes of books all over the house, but the majority of their books are there.

Hope you enjoyed your tour! :-)

Cool, Fun and Sad

2009-06-07T17:35:00.003-06:00

Cool: This is my 300th post! Too bad I don't have one of those really great blogs with 4 million readers, free giveaways and such. Guess it sucks to be YOU right now! But, Thanks for reading my ramblings anyway!

Fun: Yesterday was a great day! Thanks to my mom (AKA Gummie), Ed and I were able to spend the entire day together. We went to the SETHSA homeschool conference, where we intended to spend the day. On a whim, however, we left around 3pm and headed south to Kemah! We ate an early dinner on the Boardwalk. Of all the days to not have my camera!! It was beautiful and so relaxing. Ed is a boat-fanatic, so sitting and watching all the different boats come in and out of the marina was right up his alley! It was fun to dream about what we (and by 'we' I really mean he, but I fully support him in this endeavor) hope to have one day.

Sad: Today, Jace got a fat lip. Its part of the age, but still so sad :-( Especially since it was MY FAULT! Argh! Once again, I'm out of the running for 'Mom of the Year.' Shucks. Gotta love the moments you feel especially competent. Or not. :-) Its worse than it looks, this was just the best shot we could get of the squirmy little man who was not as interested in striking a pose as we would have liked. Turkey.

Our Little Ballerina

2009-06-05T19:22:00.006-06:00

Tonight, we attended a spaghetti supper and fundraiser for Jordan's ballet studio. Not a recital, but her class did perform a dance. I'm always amazed at how easily Jordan learns the steps. She LOVES to perform! She is totally in her element performing. Its such a joy to watch her. I continue to be in awe of the effort she puts into ballet. She has a genuine love for it! I'm also in awe of the way God continues to give us the desires of our hearts with her. Despite the fact that Jordan has lost some ground this year with academics and speech, she was just a typical kid tonight. You just can't even begin to understand what that means to me.

The bonus this year, of course, is that I was NOT in labor! :-)

The video isn't the best - and you can only see her some of the time - but she is in the back row, on the right, with a blue kite. I'm so proud of my girl!

My Beautiful Girl!

Her cutesie face!

Happy Birthday, Bubby!

2009-05-31T19:08:00.014-06:00

In some ways, it seems like forever ago, but in other ways it just doesn't seem possible that an entire year has already passed since our little man arrived.

I still look back on May 31, 2008 in awe. Its a day we'll remember not only for Jace's birth, but also for Jordan's first (and in all likelihood only) ballet recital. I was early pregnant with Jace when I found out the date of the recital and I remember saying to a friend that I would be at that recital unless I was in full-blown labor. Ha ha! I lied. I stood in that recital for an hour, with contractions 5 minutes apart. It was BRU.TAL! But completely worth it.

Jace was born a couple hours later. It was so wonderful ... beautiful ... amazing. My second homebirth. Easy delivery, despite the fact that he was a whopping 10 pounds! Jakey helped Ed cut the cord. Our family of SIX was piled on our bed when Jace was just a few minutes old. My mom, Ed's mom, my little brother Erin and his girlfriend, Beth were all at our house. It was as wonderful as a birth can be. Precious memories! But, you already know about all that. Can't help my little trip down memory lane!

Jace is a sweet little guy. He's known as Bubby, Bubs, Bubs-a-rooni and Jacey-bace around here. Where all these silly little names come from, I don't know, but somehow they stick. He's a happy little guy as long as he's not hungry. He gets downright mean when he's hungry. I have NO idea where he gets that from! Interestingly enough, he is our 'worst' talker of all. He says fewer words at this age than any of the others did. But, he has the cutest voice when he does talk! He's our first 'normal' crawler. The other 3 all had the same weird crawl. Jace is a major momma's boy. I love it (most of the time), because I know my time's limited! :-) He also loves to eat. So far, we haven't found much he doesn't like ... except, as it turns out, birthday cake! He adores his brother and sisters. Jadyn is his current fave. He calls for her when she's in another room. SO cute! He gives the biggest, sloppiest kisses ever ... and nothin' beats that!

Yesterday, we celebrated his birthday with a house full of people who love him! It was so much fun and the company so good, it lasted all afternoon! Thank you to everyone that came - we had a blast! The weather was perfect and the kids all played great together.

A cake of his own

Happy Birthday to You!

New toy from Grandma

Hangin' outside