Thursday, April 29, 2010

Its been nearly a week since we buried our baby boy. As hard as it was, I thought the graveside service we had was beautiful. I was able to see my sweet baby wrapped in the blanket my mom made for him and wearing the hat she crocheted. I needed to know his little body was in his casket just the way I wanted him. Some of the things I've needed through this journey have been surprising and some I haven't had explanations for. I've just had to trust what my heart was telling me was important and go with it.

When we arrived at the funeral home, Jackson's casket was set up in a room with some sweet flowers friends had sent. After our family arrived, Ed carried the casket out to a car that took us to the grave site. We had a short little service that included some Scripture, some poems, and a sweet song. I'll post those soon. Then, we placed roses on the casket and our other kids all placed toys they chose for him on his casket.

Afterwards, we had a dove release ceremony that proved to be beautiful! A company called Dream Doves came and did an "Angel Release" - she released one dove to signify Jackson and then a flock of doves were released afterwards. It was really a beautiful sight!

We had a ton of food at our house afterwards, thanks to our church! And visitors filled our house for the afternoon.

We are so thankful for the love and support we've received from so many! I am amazed at the number of donations made to Show Hope in memory of our little Jackson. I'm also amazed at the number of cards we've received!! We are receiving meals from our small group and have still received flowers this week. It blesses us immensely!! My mom gave us a memory box for all our keepsakes. It has a shadowbox lid, which I love:
I'm hoping to have his name engraved on the little silver plate soon. I'm so glad my mom made two hats and blankets, so I was able to keep one of each! You can also see his little footprints on the left. The verse was from the program at the funeral home. This box will be a forever-treasure!

The past week has been a roller coaster ride for me. I don't really know what else to say about it right now. I am thankful that God gave us Jackson for the short time He did and I continue to trust that He knows better than I do, even though my human heart and mind can't make sense of it.

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