Jackson Erin Sustala was born very peacefully this morning at 6:49 am, weighing 1 pound, 10 ounces. He was 12.5 inches long. Bigger than we expected.
We were so blessed to spend 3 beautiful hours with him. Seeing him for the first time was the most painful experience of my life - and yet holding him in my arms was such a relief. Once he arrived, we found he'd had a cord accident - his cord was wrapped tightly around his neck twice as well as under his arm. His tiny feet were both very clubbed as well.
God made his presence felt in so many ways. The room was filled with nearly constant prayer and his arrival was as peaceful as I could have hoped for. God was so gracious to us throughout the entire process. The labor was fairly easy and the delivery very simple. I am in awe of His provision and love! We have felt so loved by our family and friends as well. I am so thankful for Ed - I am so blessed to spend my life with him. He has been amazing!
Leaving the hospital without our baby was difficult and I expect this week will be tough as I recover from birth and all that entails without a babe in my arms. Please continue to lift us up in prayer as we face this week and look ahead to the burial on Friday.
We know that God is so very good and we trust His plans for our family, even in our pain.
Showing posts with label Pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pregnancy. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Induction Tonight!
We have a slight change of plans with the induction. We are going to the hospital TONIGHT - at 6pm to be induced. Please PRAY!!!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Jackson Erin
We learned today that our precious Jackson has passed away. Please pray for us as we grieve losing him - but also as we move forward in making decisions and arrangements. I'm 23+ weeks along and will still have to give birth to him and then bury him, which feels so beyond hard right now.
I noticed that I hadn't felt him moving (even when trying to get him to), so we went to the midwife and there was no heartbeat. We went to the hospital and it was confirmed with an ultrasound that Jackson had passed.
We are heartbroken and crushed, but we still PRAISE God. We KNOW He is good & faithful and that He will bring good out of even this. We are trusting Him, even though we don't begin to understand.
We would covet your prayers for not only peace, but for direction and wisdom as we make hard decisions and arrangements in the coming days.
I noticed that I hadn't felt him moving (even when trying to get him to), so we went to the midwife and there was no heartbeat. We went to the hospital and it was confirmed with an ultrasound that Jackson had passed.
We are heartbroken and crushed, but we still PRAISE God. We KNOW He is good & faithful and that He will bring good out of even this. We are trusting Him, even though we don't begin to understand.
We would covet your prayers for not only peace, but for direction and wisdom as we make hard decisions and arrangements in the coming days.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
God is healing our little guy!!!
Prayer warriors, you are the best! Thank you for praying for and with us!!
We got some good news today at our appointment:
First, the cyst is already gone!!!!
Second, there were no other signs or "red flags" for any chromosome abnormalities. (That can only be confirmed by amnio, but we have declined invasive testing).
Third, Jackson's feet appear to be better than the first ultrasound indicated! His right foot is mildly clubbed and the left foot is less so!!
We are praising God and believing that our boy will be totally healed before he is born! I will have another ultrasound with the specialist in 6 weeks!
Thanks again for all the prayers ... and keep praying and believing with us for God's miraculous healing!!!!
We got some good news today at our appointment:
First, the cyst is already gone!!!!
Second, there were no other signs or "red flags" for any chromosome abnormalities. (That can only be confirmed by amnio, but we have declined invasive testing).
Third, Jackson's feet appear to be better than the first ultrasound indicated! His right foot is mildly clubbed and the left foot is less so!!
We are praising God and believing that our boy will be totally healed before he is born! I will have another ultrasound with the specialist in 6 weeks!
Thanks again for all the prayers ... and keep praying and believing with us for God's miraculous healing!!!!
Monday, March 08, 2010
Follow Up with a Perinatologist
We have an appointment with a perinatal specialist to follow up and confirm baby Jackson's diagnosis of club feet and rule out any other issues. Since there was some discussion between the ladies doing our first ultrasound about whether it was club feet or rocker bottom feet - coupled with the choriod plexus cyst, our midwife thinks its smart to follow up with a specialist and we agree!
Our appointment is next Tuesday, March 16. We are thankful to be getting more information so quickly.
Please continue to pray for healing for Jackson as well as wisdom for this new doctor!
We are hopeful!
Our appointment is next Tuesday, March 16. We are thankful to be getting more information so quickly.
Please continue to pray for healing for Jackson as well as wisdom for this new doctor!
We are hopeful!
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Babies with Something More
I originally posted this two years ago, but it says a lot about what I feel today ... especially the part about what mother's want. Praise God He is trustworthy to equip us for what He calls us to!
SOME MOTHERS GET BABIES WITH SOMETHING MORE by Lori Borgman, newspaper columnist and author
My friend is expecting her first child. People keep asking what she wants. She smiles demurely, shakes her head and gives the answer mothers have given throughout the ages of time. She says it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl. She just wants it to have ten fingers and ten toes. Of course, that's what she says. That's what mothers have always said.
Mothers lie.
Truth be told, every mother wants a whole lot more. Every mother wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin. Every mother wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly.
Every mother wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule. Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire ballet class. Call it greed if you want, but we mothers want what we want.
Some mothers get babies with something more. Some mothers get babies with conditions they can't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palette that didn't close. Most of those mothers can remember the time, the place, the shoes they were wearing and the color of the walls in the small, suffocating room where the doctor uttered the words that took their breath away. It felt like recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming and it knocked the wind clean out of you.
Some mothers leave the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, take him in for a routine visit, or schedule her for a well check, and crash head first into a brick wall as they bear the brunt of devastating news. It can't be possible! That doesn't run in our family. Can this really be happening in our lifetime?
I am a woman who watches the Olympics for the sheer thrill of seeing finely sculpted bodies. It's not a lust thing; it's a wondrous thing. The athletes appear as specimens without flaw - rippling muscles with nary an ounce of flab or fat, virtual powerhouses of strength with lungs and limbs working in perfect harmony. Then the athlete walks over to a tote bag, rustles through the contents and pulls out an inhaler.
As I've told my own kids, be it on the way to physical therapy after a third knee surgery, or on a trip home from an echo cardiogram, there's no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear something at some time or another. Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, medication or surgery.
The health problems our children have experienced have been minimal and manageable, so I watch with keen interest and great admiration the mothers of children with serious disabilities, and wonder how they do it. Frankly, sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that child in and out of a wheelchair 20 times a day. How you monitor tests, track medications, regulate diet and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear. I wonder how you endure the praise and the platitudes, well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy pieces like this one saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you’re ordinary. You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this. You didn't jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me, God! Choose me! I've got what it takes."
You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so, please, let me do it for you. From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, carefully counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule. You can be warm and tender one minute, and when circumstances require, intense and aggressive the next. You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability. You're a neighbor, a friend, a stranger I pass at the mall. You're the woman I sit next to at church, my cousin and my sister-in-law. You're a woman who wanted ten fingers and ten toes, and got something more. You're a wonder.
SOME MOTHERS GET BABIES WITH SOMETHING MORE by Lori Borgman, newspaper columnist and author
My friend is expecting her first child. People keep asking what she wants. She smiles demurely, shakes her head and gives the answer mothers have given throughout the ages of time. She says it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl. She just wants it to have ten fingers and ten toes. Of course, that's what she says. That's what mothers have always said.
Mothers lie.
Truth be told, every mother wants a whole lot more. Every mother wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin. Every mother wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly.
Every mother wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule. Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire ballet class. Call it greed if you want, but we mothers want what we want.
Some mothers get babies with something more. Some mothers get babies with conditions they can't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palette that didn't close. Most of those mothers can remember the time, the place, the shoes they were wearing and the color of the walls in the small, suffocating room where the doctor uttered the words that took their breath away. It felt like recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming and it knocked the wind clean out of you.
Some mothers leave the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, take him in for a routine visit, or schedule her for a well check, and crash head first into a brick wall as they bear the brunt of devastating news. It can't be possible! That doesn't run in our family. Can this really be happening in our lifetime?
I am a woman who watches the Olympics for the sheer thrill of seeing finely sculpted bodies. It's not a lust thing; it's a wondrous thing. The athletes appear as specimens without flaw - rippling muscles with nary an ounce of flab or fat, virtual powerhouses of strength with lungs and limbs working in perfect harmony. Then the athlete walks over to a tote bag, rustles through the contents and pulls out an inhaler.
As I've told my own kids, be it on the way to physical therapy after a third knee surgery, or on a trip home from an echo cardiogram, there's no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear something at some time or another. Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, medication or surgery.
The health problems our children have experienced have been minimal and manageable, so I watch with keen interest and great admiration the mothers of children with serious disabilities, and wonder how they do it. Frankly, sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that child in and out of a wheelchair 20 times a day. How you monitor tests, track medications, regulate diet and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear. I wonder how you endure the praise and the platitudes, well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy pieces like this one saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you’re ordinary. You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this. You didn't jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me, God! Choose me! I've got what it takes."
You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so, please, let me do it for you. From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, carefully counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule. You can be warm and tender one minute, and when circumstances require, intense and aggressive the next. You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability. You're a neighbor, a friend, a stranger I pass at the mall. You're the woman I sit next to at church, my cousin and my sister-in-law. You're a woman who wanted ten fingers and ten toes, and got something more. You're a wonder.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Clubfoot Info
Writing is my therapy, so there may be more blog posts than anyone cares to read for a while. :)
Now that I've had a little time to read online, I can share what limited information I have about our little baby boy's condition.
Before I do that, let me add a prayer need. Eddie and I just watched the 4-D ultrasound DVD we rec'd last night. On it is the official paperwork about what the technician saw. Something that wasn't really discussed with us last night is something called a choriod plexus cyst. Apparently, this is fairly common and typically disappears by the 6th month. It could also be a symptom of a chromosomal anomaly. Please pray that it goes away before my next ultrasound and that there is nothing further wrong with our baby!
Is it possible to be both ENcouraged and DIScouraged all at once? That is the only way I can describe how I feel tonight. I am encouraged by what I've read about treatment for clubfoot, yet on the other hand discouraged that I am facing the possibility of walking this road at all. I know in the grand scheme of things, this is a minor blip on the radar - so I am encouraged. Yet, in this moment, my mother's heart is broken and I am discouraged. I fully trust in God's perfect plan for me, my baby and our family and therefore I am very encouraged. And yet there is a pain I just can't describe. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning!!!
Best I can tell - treatment for clubfoot entails serial casting which begins around 1-2 weeks of age. The casts are changed each week and the feet are manipulated slowly to the correct position. This generally last 6-8 weeks. The heel chords are then released followed by another cast for 3 weeks. After that, a brace is worn - possibly all day for a few months, but then just at night for 2 years. There is another treatment that involves lots of physical therapy, stretching, taping, etc = but also last 2 years. Both have about a 95% success rate according to a study I read about. This is encouraging news.
We would really prefer not to walk this road, but we are willing to go where God sends us. I know that if this is the journey He has called us to, He will fully equip us to walk it. I have already seen Him faithful in that. Sometimes people say, "God never gives you more than you can handle." I can assure you that giving me a child with Down Syndrome was more than I could handle. Thankfully, God has been faithful to equip us with every step ... and I know He will do the same with this.
I am sure I will have more information as the weeks go on - and hopefully more specifically from an orthopedist who will treat the baby after birth (if necessary, of course ... I am still believing God for that miracle healing!!!!)
Thanks for praying for and with us!
Now that I've had a little time to read online, I can share what limited information I have about our little baby boy's condition.
Before I do that, let me add a prayer need. Eddie and I just watched the 4-D ultrasound DVD we rec'd last night. On it is the official paperwork about what the technician saw. Something that wasn't really discussed with us last night is something called a choriod plexus cyst. Apparently, this is fairly common and typically disappears by the 6th month. It could also be a symptom of a chromosomal anomaly. Please pray that it goes away before my next ultrasound and that there is nothing further wrong with our baby!
Is it possible to be both ENcouraged and DIScouraged all at once? That is the only way I can describe how I feel tonight. I am encouraged by what I've read about treatment for clubfoot, yet on the other hand discouraged that I am facing the possibility of walking this road at all. I know in the grand scheme of things, this is a minor blip on the radar - so I am encouraged. Yet, in this moment, my mother's heart is broken and I am discouraged. I fully trust in God's perfect plan for me, my baby and our family and therefore I am very encouraged. And yet there is a pain I just can't describe. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning!!!
Best I can tell - treatment for clubfoot entails serial casting which begins around 1-2 weeks of age. The casts are changed each week and the feet are manipulated slowly to the correct position. This generally last 6-8 weeks. The heel chords are then released followed by another cast for 3 weeks. After that, a brace is worn - possibly all day for a few months, but then just at night for 2 years. There is another treatment that involves lots of physical therapy, stretching, taping, etc = but also last 2 years. Both have about a 95% success rate according to a study I read about. This is encouraging news.
We would really prefer not to walk this road, but we are willing to go where God sends us. I know that if this is the journey He has called us to, He will fully equip us to walk it. I have already seen Him faithful in that. Sometimes people say, "God never gives you more than you can handle." I can assure you that giving me a child with Down Syndrome was more than I could handle. Thankfully, God has been faithful to equip us with every step ... and I know He will do the same with this.
I am sure I will have more information as the weeks go on - and hopefully more specifically from an orthopedist who will treat the baby after birth (if necessary, of course ... I am still believing God for that miracle healing!!!!)
Thanks for praying for and with us!
Its another ... BOY!!!
We are very excited to learn that we are expecting another baby boy!
We also learned from our ultrasound that our sweet boy has club feet. They are called "club" because it resembles a golf club. His little feet both turn in at the ankles. He is otherwise perfectly developing and healthy, but we are heart broken to begin a journey with a birth defect once again. Not the words any parent wants to hear - and certainly not twice.
We really don't have a lot of information yet. We've been told that this is fixed "relatively easily" - easily if its not YOUR baby :) - and we are grateful for that.
We trust that God is in control and we know that He has a perfect plan for our little guy. And we are anxious to see His plans play out. I am only 18 weeks along, so we have some time before this baby's arrival. During that time, we are asking everyone to pray for COMPLETE HEALING! We know God is a God of miracles and we want to flood heaven with prayers for this baby. We accept and praise God for whatever outcome He desires, but will BELIEVE for a miracle! Please join us in believing and trusting God in this situation.
This has already been a roller coaster of emotion and I have no doubt it will continue to be as we move forward. I will update facebook and our family blog as I learn/know more information. In the meantime, please be praying specifically for healing as well as wisdom & peace for Ed and me - and feel free to pass this on to anyone else you know that will be a faithful prayer warrior with us!
Thanks, Angela
We also learned from our ultrasound that our sweet boy has club feet. They are called "club" because it resembles a golf club. His little feet both turn in at the ankles. He is otherwise perfectly developing and healthy, but we are heart broken to begin a journey with a birth defect once again. Not the words any parent wants to hear - and certainly not twice.
We really don't have a lot of information yet. We've been told that this is fixed "relatively easily" - easily if its not YOUR baby :) - and we are grateful for that.
We trust that God is in control and we know that He has a perfect plan for our little guy. And we are anxious to see His plans play out. I am only 18 weeks along, so we have some time before this baby's arrival. During that time, we are asking everyone to pray for COMPLETE HEALING! We know God is a God of miracles and we want to flood heaven with prayers for this baby. We accept and praise God for whatever outcome He desires, but will BELIEVE for a miracle! Please join us in believing and trusting God in this situation.
This has already been a roller coaster of emotion and I have no doubt it will continue to be as we move forward. I will update facebook and our family blog as I learn/know more information. In the meantime, please be praying specifically for healing as well as wisdom & peace for Ed and me - and feel free to pass this on to anyone else you know that will be a faithful prayer warrior with us!
Thanks, Angela
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday, May 26, 2008
No Baby ... yet
I know everyone is wondering ... and asking - so, I just thought I'd post a quick update.
Today is the "official" due date, but no luck in getting an 'early' baby this time either! (although I was sure hoping that with #4 it might happen!!)
To answer all the questions, YES, I'm huge. YES, I'm terribly uncomfortable. NO, I'm not sleeping well. YES, I feel like I'm going to pop! And, YES, I'm SOOO ready to see his sweet little face!
I'm sure baby Jace will make his arrival sometime this week - and I've already told Ed to post a blog when he does.
Thanks for all the prayers and sweet thoughts!
Today is the "official" due date, but no luck in getting an 'early' baby this time either! (although I was sure hoping that with #4 it might happen!!)
To answer all the questions, YES, I'm huge. YES, I'm terribly uncomfortable. NO, I'm not sleeping well. YES, I feel like I'm going to pop! And, YES, I'm SOOO ready to see his sweet little face!
I'm sure baby Jace will make his arrival sometime this week - and I've already told Ed to post a blog when he does.
Thanks for all the prayers and sweet thoughts!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Photo Shoot
I tried something new (and a little outside my comfort zone!) last week: I had "belly" pictures made. I'd seen a picture another mom had made with her 4th pregnancy. It was just her belly with her 3 other kids' hands on it. Very sweet. So, I found this super cool photographer, Jennifer Black of Black Photography, who came to my house and took all kinds of pictures that turned out very sweet. Here's one of just me ... 
One of the best things about Jennifer is that she shoots on location - at your house or any other location you want. Plus, she doesn't charge a session fee for families - the only cost is the pictures you buy and I thought she was very reasonable. She's a pastor's wife (of a church planter - something near and dear to my heart!) and a mom of 4 girls - just super nice - and I had the BEST experience, so I can't help but plug her!!
One of the best things about Jennifer is that she shoots on location - at your house or any other location you want. Plus, she doesn't charge a session fee for families - the only cost is the pictures you buy and I thought she was very reasonable. She's a pastor's wife (of a church planter - something near and dear to my heart!) and a mom of 4 girls - just super nice - and I had the BEST experience, so I can't help but plug her!!Monday, March 24, 2008
Prego
For those of you who have been wantin' pictures of my prego self, Easter gave me a reason to remember to snap some shots. So here ya go:
From the front:
And, of course, the BELLY!
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Good News!
Well, after a couple frustrating things last week, this week has come with better news!
I went in yesterday for my 3-hour glucose test and to check the status of my kidney infection.
The kidney infection is cleared up ... which I'm totally thrilled with considering we managed to clear it without antibiotics! A whole lotta cranberry, but no antibiotics! So that was great news!
The glucose test was better than I anticipated. The nurse drawing my blood each hour said that in the year and a half that she has worked at the birthing center, she's never seen a 3-hour come back positive. That was reassuring in a way, but sort of scary in another - what if I was the first?? Yuck! I felt ok throughout the test, except the last hour when I just could NOT keep my eyes open! Major crash after the sugar high! Fortunately, I was hanging out in the birthing center library with big comfy leather sofas, so I just took a nap. When the nurser came back in, she laughed and said, "Ah, this is how I always find people the third hour!" Needless to say, by the time we were done (noon), I was STARVING! I met up with Ed at the mall and he had my lunch all ready and waiting for me. My stomach still isn't quite right, but it'll get there.
Apparently the normal range for the test is under 130 & my 1-hour test was 179. So, the idea with the 3-hour is to make sure that the levels go down each hour. My first hour was 157 (quite a bit lower than my 1-hour, but still not normal); second hour was 139 and third hour was 108. I'm sure its more information than anyone wants, but I am so excited!
Another cool thing they did was an "A1c" blood test that averages the blood glucose levels of the past 90 days. The normal range for that test is 4.5-5.8 and my result was 4.8! All that to say, I don't have diabetes! Yay, God! Major answer to prayer. Although, it still leaves the question unanswered about where my gi-mongous babies come from! LOL!
So, hopefully, this all proves to the food nazi that I have not been cheating (as she assumes!). I did gain 2 pounds in just a few days - the same few days that I had to eat extra carbohydrates to prepare for the test! Go figure!
So, that's my good news for the day. I feel SO much better! Thanks for all the prayers!!!
I went in yesterday for my 3-hour glucose test and to check the status of my kidney infection.
The kidney infection is cleared up ... which I'm totally thrilled with considering we managed to clear it without antibiotics! A whole lotta cranberry, but no antibiotics! So that was great news!
The glucose test was better than I anticipated. The nurse drawing my blood each hour said that in the year and a half that she has worked at the birthing center, she's never seen a 3-hour come back positive. That was reassuring in a way, but sort of scary in another - what if I was the first?? Yuck! I felt ok throughout the test, except the last hour when I just could NOT keep my eyes open! Major crash after the sugar high! Fortunately, I was hanging out in the birthing center library with big comfy leather sofas, so I just took a nap. When the nurser came back in, she laughed and said, "Ah, this is how I always find people the third hour!" Needless to say, by the time we were done (noon), I was STARVING! I met up with Ed at the mall and he had my lunch all ready and waiting for me. My stomach still isn't quite right, but it'll get there.
Apparently the normal range for the test is under 130 & my 1-hour test was 179. So, the idea with the 3-hour is to make sure that the levels go down each hour. My first hour was 157 (quite a bit lower than my 1-hour, but still not normal); second hour was 139 and third hour was 108. I'm sure its more information than anyone wants, but I am so excited!
Another cool thing they did was an "A1c" blood test that averages the blood glucose levels of the past 90 days. The normal range for that test is 4.5-5.8 and my result was 4.8! All that to say, I don't have diabetes! Yay, God! Major answer to prayer. Although, it still leaves the question unanswered about where my gi-mongous babies come from! LOL!
So, hopefully, this all proves to the food nazi that I have not been cheating (as she assumes!). I did gain 2 pounds in just a few days - the same few days that I had to eat extra carbohydrates to prepare for the test! Go figure!
So, that's my good news for the day. I feel SO much better! Thanks for all the prayers!!!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Arg! Frustrations!
So many things happening ... and yet, I've blogged none of it. Some of what's going on I can't blog about just yet.
This has been one unproductive week around here. Full of stress and frustrations. Today seems to be icing on the cake - which is pretty sad considering its only 9:30am.
A couple days ago, I woke up with pain in my back on one side - I was afraid it was a kidney issue. Plus, I just did not feel good. At all. I already had a chiropractor appointment, so I went to that and shared my concern with him, but didn't get much response. And, in fact the one I got I didn't really appreciate - a comment to the effect that I didn't need to be self-diagnosing stuff. Huh? Excuse me? I'm pretty sure its MY body and it IS my job to "listen" to it and pay attention. He's not usually like that, so I left pretty frustrated.
I already had an appointment with my midwife for yesterday morning - complete with my glucose test. Well, turns out I do have a kidney infection. Oh really? Not a huge surprise. But, its really scary for me. Especially since the last time I had a kidney infection, it ended up spreading to my blood (E. Coli septic) and landed me in the hospital for a week (this being 2 days after Jake was born...NOT fun!). So, I spent most of yesterday drinking a gazillion gallons of water with cranberry juice concentrate added to it; taking cranberry supplements and spending a good deal of time going potty. Last night, I was feeling pretty lousy and of course, getting more scared that what I was doing wasn't working, but thankfully, I woke up feeling better this morning. No more pain in my back. PRAISE GOD! I'm drinking away again today ... and you can bet, that will continue EVERY day! Especially considering the stage of pregnancy I am (almost 28 weeks) - infection is just scary stuff. Premature delivery even scarier right now.
Ok, so these next couple things aren't quite as dire, but they just give you a glimpse of my morning: Ed was showing me something as I was washing dishes this morning and as I turned around, I missed the blender I was washing with the pull out sprayer on the sink and sprayed myself from shoulder to toe, covering floor and all! Ugh! Then, only moments later, I went to push in a chair at the table and I don't know how, but slammed my toes into one the chair legs. OUCH! I'm pretty sure I have at least one broken toe - which I know, isn't anything unusual, but it still hurts! Ed said, "Maybe you shouldn't go anywhere today." No kidding.
Then, I get a phone call from my midwife's office and guess what? My glucose test is positive. Never has been before when I ate sugar morning, noon and night! But, of course, when I feel like I'm doing everything RIGHT ... everything's a mess!
So, I have to go back next week for a 3-hour test. I knew this was a possibility of course, but its just so frustrating. Its just one of those days. I know this too shall pass. Oh, thank you, LORD, for that knowledge. And for knowing that YOU are in control!
Ugh. Its all I can say.
Aren't you all glad I'm done whining now? At least to you, anyway! :-)
This has been one unproductive week around here. Full of stress and frustrations. Today seems to be icing on the cake - which is pretty sad considering its only 9:30am.
A couple days ago, I woke up with pain in my back on one side - I was afraid it was a kidney issue. Plus, I just did not feel good. At all. I already had a chiropractor appointment, so I went to that and shared my concern with him, but didn't get much response. And, in fact the one I got I didn't really appreciate - a comment to the effect that I didn't need to be self-diagnosing stuff. Huh? Excuse me? I'm pretty sure its MY body and it IS my job to "listen" to it and pay attention. He's not usually like that, so I left pretty frustrated.
I already had an appointment with my midwife for yesterday morning - complete with my glucose test. Well, turns out I do have a kidney infection. Oh really? Not a huge surprise. But, its really scary for me. Especially since the last time I had a kidney infection, it ended up spreading to my blood (E. Coli septic) and landed me in the hospital for a week (this being 2 days after Jake was born...NOT fun!). So, I spent most of yesterday drinking a gazillion gallons of water with cranberry juice concentrate added to it; taking cranberry supplements and spending a good deal of time going potty. Last night, I was feeling pretty lousy and of course, getting more scared that what I was doing wasn't working, but thankfully, I woke up feeling better this morning. No more pain in my back. PRAISE GOD! I'm drinking away again today ... and you can bet, that will continue EVERY day! Especially considering the stage of pregnancy I am (almost 28 weeks) - infection is just scary stuff. Premature delivery even scarier right now.Ok, so these next couple things aren't quite as dire, but they just give you a glimpse of my morning: Ed was showing me something as I was washing dishes this morning and as I turned around, I missed the blender I was washing with the pull out sprayer on the sink and sprayed myself from shoulder to toe, covering floor and all! Ugh! Then, only moments later, I went to push in a chair at the table and I don't know how, but slammed my toes into one the chair legs. OUCH! I'm pretty sure I have at least one broken toe - which I know, isn't anything unusual, but it still hurts! Ed said, "Maybe you shouldn't go anywhere today." No kidding.
Then, I get a phone call from my midwife's office and guess what? My glucose test is positive. Never has been before when I ate sugar morning, noon and night! But, of course, when I feel like I'm doing everything RIGHT ... everything's a mess!
So, I have to go back next week for a 3-hour test. I knew this was a possibility of course, but its just so frustrating. Its just one of those days. I know this too shall pass. Oh, thank you, LORD, for that knowledge. And for knowing that YOU are in control!
Ugh. Its all I can say.
Aren't you all glad I'm done whining now? At least to you, anyway! :-)
Friday, December 14, 2007
Oh *BOY!*
I had another ultrasound yesterday morning and in addition to the fact that everything looks perfect with the baby (always wonderful news to hear!), we can now also say that it is a ...Baby BOY!
I broke down and decided to find out. We had a blast not knowing if Jadyn was a boy or a girl until she got here, but there are some benefits to knowing as well! Like having pink or blue clothes instead of green and yellow! So important! :-) And being able to tell the kids they are having a baby brother. And picking out a name. And making my mother-in-law happy! :-)
There are so few things that are still surprises anymore, so part of me liked not knowing for just that reason. But, its a surprise whether you find out at 17 weeks - or at 40 weeks!!
We are all very excited! Well ... everyone but Jordan seems to be thrilled with the news. She'll come around. It is a baby after all and when he gets here, she'll forget she ever wished for another sister!
Now to pick out a name!
Friday, November 02, 2007
Oh the Irony!
In choosing my midwife, I chose someone that is knowledgeable about 'making' smaller babies - something I desperately need this time around. Apparently, women typically have progressively bigger babies and since Jadyn was 10.5 (and got stuck), I really can't fathom birthing one bigger! No 11 pounders, please!!So, I chose the food-nazi midwife in town. And, I had my first appointment yesterday - complete with my dietary instructions & food diary. I left so overwhelmed, I had no choice but to drive through Wendy's for a frosty ... a chocolate twisted one with M&Ms ... and a fried chicken sandwich ... and a salad ... with ranch dressing. I'm sure I could have thought of someplace better to enjoy my last meal, but I was in no mood to think and I just needed one last 'fix' before attempting to commit to this craziness.
So, here's the scoop ... not only do I have to write down EVERY sip and morsel that enters my lips, I have a very limited and specific list of things I can eat:
1 serving of a vitamin C fruit (like 1/2 grapefruit or 1/2 cup strawberries) - this is ALL the fruit I can have for the day!!!
4 servings of grass fed, corn-free, hormone-free, antibiotic-free protien (like eggs, beef, chicken or fish) or I can have peanut/almond/cashew butter, nuts or hummus.
I can have 5 servings of grains - as long as I don't eat any bread! So, I can have rye crackers, whole grain rice or pasta or tortilla.
Last, but certainly not least, I get to have 6 servings of cooked veggies (NONE raw!!! Which means no salads ... and I love salads!)
Did you notice NO DAIRY products? None. Zip. Nada.
Oh, and I can have herbal teas and almonds. (woo hoo)
On the back of my food diary is a list of "rules" - THIRTY THREE of them to be exact! This is going to take a serious adjustment period. Considering I eat about every hour and a half these days, I asked her what if I eat all this and I'm still hungry. Her very empathetic (NOT) reply was, "Stop eating." Wow. Clearly she has amazing insight into pregnant women. Hungry ones at that.
I should also mention that she does not want me to gain any more than 15 pounds throughout my pregnancy!!!! Good thing I haven't gained any yet.
Am I really paying this woman to torture me this way? Seems so ironic.
I'm not typically a big fan of limiting food for a prego, but I think in this situation, I really can't run the risk of having another big baby that gets stuck. Man, I wish there were an easier way. The best things in life never come easy.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Just enough ...
Since I haven't been feeling so hot lately, I haven't done much more than the necessary. You know, just enough laundry so that everyone can fetch clean clothes from the dryer as needed; just enough meal prep to keep everyone fed (although perhaps not delightfully so); just enough bathing of children to keep the chunks off; and just enough cleaning to keep mold at bay. It has not been pretty. I even missed church on Sunday morning. Can't remember the last time that happened without a vacation involved. I hate to miss church. The kids have been remarkably well-behaved and cooperative, considering mom's new home has been the couch. I know this too shall pass ... and thankfully, yesterday was a much better day than I've had in a while. So, hopefully, we're on the downhill swing!
Even in the midst of not feeling well, a lot has been going on. I've got some posting to catch up on!!
Even in the midst of not feeling well, a lot has been going on. I've got some posting to catch up on!!
Saturday, October 06, 2007
How is it...
How is it that I can remember rather vividly the pain of childbirth, but I so easily forget how miserable the first trimester is?
The memories have flooded back.
The memories have flooded back.
Monday, September 24, 2007
A word problem
Math is a big part of our lives ... so here's a word problem:
If the Sustala family has three children and they add one child, how many children will the Sustala family have?
3 + 1 = 4!
Number 4 is on the way! We are very excited, although a little surprised! This was not planned, but not carefully avoided, either. :-) It iswanted ... as my grandmother said years ago, "A life is always to be celebrated" Indeed!!
We think I'm about 5 weeks and due May 27, 2008. We haven't told the kids yet, but it will be interesting to see what their reaction is when we do!
Time to find a midwife!
If the Sustala family has three children and they add one child, how many children will the Sustala family have?
3 + 1 = 4!
Number 4 is on the way! We are very excited, although a little surprised! This was not planned, but not carefully avoided, either. :-) It is
We think I'm about 5 weeks and due May 27, 2008. We haven't told the kids yet, but it will be interesting to see what their reaction is when we do!
Time to find a midwife!
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