How Does this Happen?

When I was the mom of just two, I remember seeing this picture:

After gasping, then laughing hysterically (because they are not my children), I could not for the life of me figure out how something like that could happen.  I mean, c'mon!  Where was the mother??? 

Then I had two more children.  Who were not like my first two children.  At all.

They do their part to help me understand how things like that happen. Even with me here.

Today, Jace decided that drawing on himself ...

AND our leather sofa

with a PEN 

was a good idea.

While I *thought* he was watching a movie.  The older three were playing Uno at the kitchen table.  And, I was cleaning out the refrigerator.  We weren't even technically out of the room!

Thankfully, we have a family friend who restores leather.  He told me to use alcohol to get the ink out.  I have witch hazel and hydrogen peroxide in my house.  But no alcohol.  Of course.  So, I ran to Walgreens and bought a rather large bottle.

After using nearly half the bottle

My sofa now looks like this:

Well, that's better.  Don't ya think?

Thankfully, Eddie is out of town.  He would have a stroke!  Even more thankfully, the leather-master-family-friend is coming tomorrow to (PLEASE, Lord!) restore the color.  I'm hoping that by the time Ed gets home, this will all be funny.  In the meantime, today would not be the day to check my blog, honey.  :)

Thanks to reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I somehow moved uncharacteristically quickly from "OH NO! OH MY GOSH! OH NO! I'm gonna throw up" panic-mode

to

"Thank you, Lord, for this little ornery boy. Even with ink on my sofa, I'm thankful for him. I'm thankful to have a sofa.  And a friend who restores leather.  For the ability to run to Walgreens to buy alcohol.  For the elbow grease needed to rub ink out for an hour and a half."  Many gifts in the midst of frustration.  Always.  We just have to see.  Oh, how I want that to become my natural reaction.

If you haven't read that book, you should.  Just don't get your 3 year old to write on the sofa to see if its changed you.  I don't recommend that.

Hopefully, I will have some "just like new" photos to post after tomorrow. {fingers crossed}

Command Central

I posted a picture of our new "command central" on facebook this morning and had no idea how much attention it would get.  I'm glad I'm not the only one who needs this!   As suggested in the fb comments, I'm posting the details here  :)
This past year has not been pretty.  Behaviorally, my kids have fallen apart.  Bad attitudes and disobedience abound.  As the mature, responsible parent that I am, I've responded by nagging, yelling, threatening - all of it in completely unpredictable patterns.  :) 

One of the benefits of having lots of kids (if you consider 4 a lot) is many hands to do the work!  But, when I have to nag and whine and yell just to get them to dress themselves, it doesn't feel much like help.  Our old system wasn't cutting it anymore - mainly because I didn't "inspect what I expect" (love that phrase!), so I had to find a way to build in accountability for me as well.

I've told y'all before I'm not creative.  I have very few original ideas - and this is no different :)  I have been "collecting" ideas from several places (here, here, here, here and here) for the past few weeks and combined them into something that will work for our family.  I've purchased pre-made chore charts and such before.  I didn't want to spend any money this time and I wanted something that would combine chores, behavior, family rules, scheduling, the whole shebang into one system, while being easy for me.  'Cause, at the end of the day, if its not easy it won't last! 

Big picture:

 I glued baseball card protector pages with the side & one end cut off to a poster board so they act as pockets.  The craft sticks have the kids' chores written on them.  Once a week, I place the sticks in the appropriate pocket.  The kids pull the stick(s) for that day, complete the work and leave the stick in the kitchen, so I know the work is ready for inspection (accountability for me!).  Once it passes inspection, they put the stick in their bucket (our kids have been color-coded for some time, so they know which one is theirs - though it would be cute to label it. Target generally sells the buckets in their $1 section).  These are all unpaid chores - work they do to contribute to the family (I really like Dave Ramsey's philosophy on this).  If they complete this work (without reminders, complaining, etc), they are allowed to choose a paid chore from a bucket I keep in the kitchen.  Sundays are pay day.  They receive their weekly "commission" as well as any money they earned from paid chores.  The white bucket contains extra chores (or "trouble chores" as Jadyn calls them) and they are used for behavior issues related to our family rules (below). 

Family Rules:

 I boiled all our rules down to one word:  R.E.S.P.E.C.T.  :)  Respect for parents, siblings, property, others & self.  Each heading has some more detailed examples of what it looks like.  You can download ours here.  If they break a rule, they go to the chart and accept their discipline and read the Bible verse(s) associated with it.  If they break the same rule again that day, they move on to the Motivator (including extra chores).  This has made discipline consistent.  No need for me to yell, nag, threaten, etc ... and no need for them to get angry with me over unfair punishments I'm doling out just because I'm grumpier than the last time the same behavior occurred.  This week has been much calmer and happier for all of us!

Weekly Schedule

 I added a dry erase weekly schedule I found at Target. It has a space for each family member, which I love. Our weeks get really busy, so this will come in very handy in the fall! Its on a magnetic board where I've hung different schedules - like the pool hours and church activities!  Summer stuff for now, but it will hold kids' activity schedules in the fall).  The board is also a dry erase board, so I've listed their weekly "commission" - and the breakdown of giving, saving and keeping. 


Morning Routine:

 This is the same for all of them and for each day, so I wrote it on the poster board.  On Sunday, I will decide if they earned their stick for the week (meaning they did their morning routine without reminders all week).  If they do not earn it, they do not get paid for any paid chores they may have done. 

Evening Routine:

They love to spend time with Ed and me in the evenings - sitting & talking, playing games, reading books, etc.  The sooner they complete their evening routine, the more time they get with us.  We used to do room cleaning in the mornings, but it drives Ed batty to put the kids to bed in a messy room and I like the idea of teaching them to go to bed with their things tidy.  They also have mom and dad time to look forward to which seems to be a much bigger incentive to work quickly than school time.  Lol.  Jake has had his room cleaned before dinner every night this week! *Hmmm .... I wonder which kid's love language is quality time??*  :)

If I was going to do it again, I would write the days of the week at the top of each pocket (as they get covered up by the sticks where I wrote them).  I was planning to use library pockets, but didn't have enough (and didn't want to spend money, remember?).  I think they might look a bit more tidy (and I do like tidy!).  Also, command hooks would hold the buckets better than the giant thumbtacks I used that leave equally giant holes in the wall (but, again, using what I already had).  I would have also used a colored poster board instead of white.  But, all of this is purely cosmetic.  I plan to hang a file holder under the calendar to hold other papers we may need as well.   Oh, the extra bucket up high holds dry erase markers, eraser, etc.  I didn't want to be hunting for those when I need them!

It is working beautifully for us so far!  I hope it helps some other mamas!  If you have some ideas, PLEASE share in the comments!  :)

2010 from the rearview

I'm cracking myself up over the title of this post.  This year has felt a bit like a rear view, ifyouknowwhatImean. 

For those of you who only visit my blog once a year, here's the recap ... if you'd like the abbreviated version, check facebook for my 'year in status updates.' 

For the ladies, here's the longer, slightly more detailed version:

We won’t be sad to say goodbye to 2010.  Even though a new year can't change circumstances, there are just some years that seem more deserving of a swift kick in the pants, ya know?

We began 2010 excited about Sustala baby #5 joining our family! We learned we were having a boy and named him Jackson Erin, after Ed’s grandfather, Pawpaw Jackson and my youngest brother, Erin. Sadly, Jackson was stillborn at 24 weeks due to a cord entanglement. As you can imagine, it has been a difficult journey to grieve the loss of our little boy. As always, God has been present in every detail. His hand has been evident at every turn. I’ve tried to write about our grief and the journey of faith it has required on this blog in hopes that it may one day minister to someone else. This has been the loneliest journey of my life – even though I know I'm not alone.  Ed and I are both surprised at just how difficult losing Jackson still is – even eight months later. The pain that lingers is not something we could have anticipated. Our children have struggled through this in their own ways – they mention Jackson frequently and say often they wish he had lived. Jadyn got upset when I was talking with a woman I didn't know.  When she asked how many children I have, I answered, "Two boys & two girls." (I don’t feel comfortable burdening everyone I meet with what happened)  Jadyn exclaimed, “MOM! You have THREE boys!!!” Awkward…but precious nonetheless.   It warms my heart how they embrace him as part of our family.  In the picture above, Jordan is holding our "Jackson-bear" because we wanted him represented somehow.
This year also marked having three official homeschoolers! That has been quite the adventure, but still remains a beautiful, wonderful fit for our family. I have enjoyed the time I get to spend with each of the kids one-on-one as well as the time we have together as a family. The flexibility it provides has come in very handy (again) this year as well!

The kids have had a busy year. Jordan (10) joined a homeschool choir called Joyful Sound! I continue to be amazed at the doors God opens for her! She gets to do her two favorite things:  sing and dance!  She has also had a lot of orthodontic work – which will continue next year with braces, as we work to correct her under bite and hopefully improve articulation.
Jacob (8 ½) has taken his soccer interest to a new level, playing junior select soccer. He loves the professional coaching and the seriousness of the players.  If he sees a ball, you can bet his feet are on it - juggling, kicking, something!  He continues to excel in academics, especially math. He is in his second year of cub scouts, as a bear. 
Jadyn (5 ½) is in Kindergarten and is into all things creative. She has been lucky enough to participate in one of the Joyful Sound! show choirs with Jordan as well as taking gymnastics.
Jace (2 1/2) is a short and stocky, happy, extremely busy little guy who loves music, trains, balls and anything his big sisters and brother are doing! He makes us laugh every single day.  It took him a while to start talking in more than single syllable words, but now we can't shut him up! 

Despite (or more likely because of) the heartbreak this year, we have been able to get away a little.  Ed and I went to San Antonio a couple times, went to Dallas and made a trip to Chicago.  We also rented a beach house in Galveston with the kids in May, which was just heavenly!!  It was so wonderful, we're hoping to make it an annual event. 

We are ending this year bitter sweetly...
Bitterly, we are saying goodbye to Ed’s sister, Stacey & her family as they move to Southeast Asia. It’s a wonderful opportunity for their family, so we are excited for them, but sad for ourselves!
We are also working on repairs to our house after a recent flooding episode. You can read more about that here.  :/
Sweetly, we are looking forward to my brother, Erin’s wedding in three weeks!! We are honored to participate in the day as a bridesmaid, groomsman, flower girls and ring bearers :)  We look forward to ‘officially’ welcoming Beth into our family!

As difficult as this year has been, we know God only has good plans for us – and He will be faithful to bring good even out of our suffering. We pray that you will sense His blessings and provision in your lives as well!

Merry Christmas, blog friends!

No grey matter here!

As has become customary, it is feast or famine around this blog! 

Very little grey matter here.  :)

Here's the high (and low) lights of the last few weeks. 

The day after Thanksgiving, our family was decorating for Christmas.  About half-way through decorating the tree, Ed said, "Why are there wet footprints on the floor???"

We searched for the cause of wetness - checking the usual places:  Jace's diaper (the kid has serious talent) and wet socks.  No dice.  Then, Jake exclaims, "Dad!  There's a giant puddle over there!"

*cue parent freak out*

The puddle appears to be coming from our bedroom/bathroom, so naturally Ed runs that direction.  To find our bedroom carpet and bathroom floor soaking wet along with dripping water coming from our closet ceiling.  :) 
Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas! a big ol' mess!

Ed runs upstairs to the bathroom above ours where he discovers a flooded bathroom which clearly originated from a sink that had the drain plugged (by a washcloth), the water turned on full blast (and of course, the door closed).  The water ran from the bathroom to Jace's room on one side and the gameroom (AKA our school room) on the other :/

All eyes immediately turn to Jadyn.  Funny (or not) how in times like that, everyone knows exactly who the culprit is.  In most homes, you might assume the two year old.  Cause two year olds do stuff like that. 
In our home, we have a Jadyn.  Cute as a button she may be.  But the child does not think through her actions.  She is impulsive, creative and curious - not a good combination.  I've decided that God has provided Jadyn to be sure I never become prideful as a parent.   :/ 

Long story short - the majority of our carpet has to be replaced along with the {brand new} hard wood floors in our family room as well as some sheet rock, paint & door frame repairs.  Mostly a giant inconvenience at the most expensive time of year - and, y'all, homeowner deductibles are freaking high!!!  I guess since Ed works in auto insurance and I think of the typical auto deductible being around $500, I just assumed it would be $500 - $1000.   La la land is where I was a livin!   Wish I could go back!  ;)

The other biggies around here - I can't remember if I've mentioned or not, but Jordan joined a Christian homeschool choir called Joyful Sound!  Amazing that she can be included in such a thing ... just another example of how God continues to open doors for her that I couldn't have imagined ten years ago!  Not only is Jordan in the choir, but she is also in one of the show choirs, so she gets to do her two favorite things - sing AND dance!  :)  It turned out they were in need of another child in the show choir and Jadyn just happened to be in the back at rehearsal, learning the dance, so her lucky little self got to join the show choir for the Christmas performance, even though she's not technically quite old enough!!
At any rate, Joyful Sound! does ministry concerts the first two weeks of December - all over Houston to all sorts of people/groups/places.  We are talking about 3-6 concerts per DAY!  Amazing outreach to so many - and I was beyond excited to participate this year.  The girls were loving every minute of it! 
A couple days into ministry season, Jordan was struck by a stomach virus.  Thankfully, it only lasted a couple days, but as soon as she was well, it hit me, Jace and Jadyn - and by yesterday Jake was in the mix as well :(  Its been a long week, but everyone appears to be on the mend (assuming Ed doesn't become the final victim!).   The worst part has been missing so many concerts.   We still have the big Christmas concert this weekend and next week for ministry, so still plenty to look forward to!

I hope things are a little less eventful at your place :)

Family Pictures

A few weeks ago, we had our family pictures made by Joe Heiliger.   He will forever have a special place in my heart.

In addition to having his own photography business, Joe is also a volunteer photographer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep - a worldwide organization that ministers to parents suffering the loss of a baby through free professional photography services.  Our family was blessed in a way I can't even describe by Joe and NILMDTS! 

Getting family pictures made was bittersweet for me, but we included our "Jackson-bear."  He is a favorite with the kids and it seemed appropriate to represent him.  We could not have asked for more beautiful weather and the pictures turned out great!  These are a couple of my favorites:


Our beautiful family

 

Adorable kiddos
Jacob, Jace, Jadyn, Jordan

Oh, how I love my family!  I feel immensely blessed and thankful!

10 Years

I can hardly believe it.  I have a 10 year old! 

 This beautiful, amazing, silly, wonderful, smart girl came into my life 10 years ago today and while sadness and grief reigned for the night, JOY came in the morning!
She is, in many ways, a constant reminder of God's goodness.  Of His provision.  Of His mercies and love.  When I think back to this day ten years ago, I am reminded of the immense sadness I felt about her diagnosis.  But, I'm also reminded of the love for her that washed over me.  A powerful love like I could not have imagined before that day.   I'm so blessed to have experienced the power of that love with four more children.  But, my sweet Jordan was the beginning of it all. 

I love you so much, Jordan-bug!  Happy 10th Birthday, Beautiful! 

From Jacob

Hi, this is Jacob. My mom said I could write a note on her blog.  I am selling popcorn for cub scouts.  If you want to buy some click here http://www.trails-end.com/estore/home_alt.jsp?_requestid=793849
Thank you for helping me!

Jacob

Gettin' Fancy with Downloads!

If you've been reading my Organized Mom Series, you may have noticed that I've done a lot of explaining about my schedules and "worksheets" I've created online. 

I am happy to say that I figured out how to upload my documents so that you can just click a link and see them!  If they are helpful to you, feel free to use them.  You should be able to manipulate the data to make the forms work for you.  Or just use them as a bouncing off point to create your own!

This is my fall homeschool file.  I mentioned that I have several schedules that revolve around our homeschool.  This file contains my schedules & planners for school, plus our Daily Schedule & Chore List!  Even though I call it my "homeschool" file - there are some charts that can be useful to anyone!  (I have Jordan's NACD program and a schedule for her program activities in this file as well, but they are not included in this uploaded version). 
*Disclaimer:  Even though our days are scheduled, it doesn't mean this is what each day really looks like.  We have interruptions, inconveniences and illnesses just like everyone else!  This is just the goal for normal weeks.  {whatever those are}  Mainly, its my way of keeping me focused!  :)

This is another school planner I used a couple years ago ... when we had fewer subjects and fewer students :)  I put it in a 3 ring binder so that when it was open, I could see both pages at once, side by side.
This is my menu planner.  Very basic  :) 
This is the Weekly Overview Chart I created (based on Kat's (at Inspired to Action) - in her e-book, Maximize Your Mornings)



I put my kids' Morning Routine/Chore Charts in a page protector and they use a dry erase marker to check off as they go.  Here are the different ways I do them based on age/reading skills.  When Jordan was younger, I cut out a picture of each item, put Velcro on the back and she had a place to actually move the item to a finished column.  You teacher-y types may know that as a "picture schedule."  At least that's what Jordan's Pre-K teacher called it.  ;) 
Jacob's Morning Routine/Chore Chart

Jadyn's Morning Routine/Chore Chart

I love to create charts and worksheets that work for my family!  Finding organizational systems online or in stores is one thing, but each family is unique in their needs, so many times creating your own gives you a system that works better. 
Let me know if you find these helpful!

"Jell-O" Shapes

I avoid artificial colors as much as possible.  Jell-O, unfortunately falls into the avoid catagory for our family which bums our kids.

But, I recently noticed this recipe on the back of the Knox Gelatin box:

So, we used it along with these:

 To make these:

The shapes didn't turn out that great but the kids had a blast - and that's what it was all about!

Snacky Lunches

A few months ago, I started giving my kids "snacky" lunches.  These are the easiest lunches on the planet.  Basically, anything goes - and typically its void of food that requires preparation.  Some things we use:  crackers or chips and hummus, tuna salad, veggies, fruit, cheese ... basically snacky or finger foods.  Its a hit!  I usually like to add a smoothie to the mix as well.  Recently, I've seen some moms in blogland doing lunch in muffin pans (complete with themes) - using each muffin cup for a different kind of finger food.  Its a cute idea, especially for the preschool crowd.  But, I'm not washing four muffin pans after lunch.  I'm just lazy like that :)

A few weeks ago, I found these divided trays at HEB for $1 and knew the kids would love them for snacky lunches (especially since they haven't seen the muffin pan idea).  This is all the rage for lunch time around the Sustala house!!

Jace's First Haircut

I think this is the most emotional I've ever been for a first haircut.  Partly because I'm just emotional these days :) but also because this is the first one that had some real baby curls.  Not many, but certainly the most of any of our kids!!  I hated the idea of cutting them off, but it was time! 

BEFORE - front

BEFORE - back

AFTER - front

AFTER - back {sniff ... sniff}

His daddy will be very happy :)

Jace turns TWO!

Jace turned two a few weeks ago!! He is a FUN 2-year-old and really pretty easy. He is rough-and-tumble, all-boy, super cute, loves music and dancing, balls, cars, The Backyardigans and food! He is our worst talker to date, but has mad motor skills for his age. He walks up and down the stairs without holding on - which usually makes me crazy (especially when I find him climbing up the OUTSIDE of the stair case)! :) He loves the tampoline and can jump right along with his big sisters and brother! He can kick the soccer ball like nobody's business and shouts "GOAL!" every time he kicks it (whether it actually makes it in the goal or not!) You can't help but smile (or laugh) when you see his stocky-short-legged body doing the toddler dash! He is a squealer - and a very high-pitched one at that. I'm fairly certain I've lost a good amount of hearing.
He is a grunter and generally speaks with only one syllable per word. He says "thank you" without prompty, but has yet to master "please." :) He gives the biggest puckered-lip kisses you've ever seen (frequently accompanied by drool). He is a sweet-hearted little guy that gets very upset when someone is hurt or crying. He is a delight and has been the source of great joy for our family - and precious heart-healing therapy for me.

Here are some pix of our very small celebration!
"Happy Birthday to Jace..."

Make a wish

Unlike his first birthday, the cake was a hit this year!

Pure DELIGHT over videos with The Backyardigans from Gummie!

New tricycle from Grandma!

Beach Therapy

Our trip to Galveston ...

Ed's therapy was the fishing

The kids' therapy was playing in the water

...and building sand castles

...and eating ice cream

...and catching crabs

...and bike riding down the seawall

And my therapy ... was just getting away!

Thanks & Update

Thank you ... so many of you have called, sent cards, notes and messages and I'm really grateful! It means more than you know. There are not words enough to express how touched we are by every single person that reaches out to us. I know most people don't know what to do or say, but please know that it is so comforting just to know you are thinking about us or praying for us.

Things are slowly getting better. It's only been six weeks since Jackson was born - it feels like the longest six weeks of my life! I still have hard days - even some really hard days - and I imagine that will continue for some time. I've tried to focus on allowing myself to feel whatever feelings come. That is tough for me since I am a planner, I like to think I'm in "control" of not only my emotions (ha!), but also the hows, whens, etc. Yes, all things God is working on in me through this experience. He's been showing me the areas of my life that I have yet to relinquish control to Him. He's working on my heart in big and small ways and I am learning more everyday about really, truly trusting Him and allowing Him to be in charge.

I am constantly reminded of Romans 5:3-5 ~ and I especially love The Message translation: "There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary - we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit."

I continue to trust that God's plans are perfect - even though my broken heart and human mind scream that Jackson not being here with me is anything but perfect. I know I won't understand until I see my baby boy again. In the meantime, I just have to TRUST in God's greatness and goodness.

The Joy that is Jadyn!

Today my spunky little peanut, Jadyn, is 5 years old.

Its amazing how quickly life passes by when you stop to look back. Jadyn was born in Dallas and was our first homebirth. She was also my biggest baby weighing in at 10 pounds, 5 ounces!!!! Looking at the petite little thing she is now, you'd never know it! I was complaining to our chiropractor a few weeks ago about her "gerbil sized bladder" (because she ALWAYS has to go potty) and he replied, "Well, she has a gerbil sized body. What size bladder do you expect to fit in there?" LOL! Very true.

She may be small physically, but she has a BIG personality! She is very outgoing, super social, fun, full-of-life and she has added many dimensions to our family. I joke (only slightly) that I had the parenting gig figured out until she came along. She gives Ed and me a run for our money and keeps us on our parenting-toes! She is the epitome of a "strong-willed child." Although, I prefer the term, "high-spirited." :)

She is a big ol' pot of extremes. She brings great joy to our lives ... and sometimes, great frustration. She is quite independent, which will serve her well as an adult, but tends to make parenting her a tad tricky. She is charming - and knows it. She is beautiful - and is told far too frequently. She has a cute little voice - according to people who don't live with her! She is very girly, smart, sassy, busy, entertaining and just plain hilarious!

We love you, Little Miss! You have certainly made your dad and me better parents just by being YOU! And, we wouldn't trade it for anything. You are a wonderful, amazing blessing!!! Happy Birthday, sweet girl!

Babies with Something More

I originally posted this two years ago, but it says a lot about what I feel today ... especially the part about what mother's want. Praise God He is trustworthy to equip us for what He calls us to!

SOME MOTHERS GET BABIES WITH SOMETHING MORE by Lori Borgman, newspaper columnist and author

My friend is expecting her first child. People keep asking what she wants. She smiles demurely, shakes her head and gives the answer mothers have given throughout the ages of time. She says it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl. She just wants it to have ten fingers and ten toes. Of course, that's what she says. That's what mothers have always said.

Mothers lie.

Truth be told, every mother wants a whole lot more. Every mother wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin. Every mother wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly.

Every mother wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule. Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire ballet class. Call it greed if you want, but we mothers want what we want.

Some mothers get babies with something more. Some mothers get babies with conditions they can't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palette that didn't close. Most of those mothers can remember the time, the place, the shoes they were wearing and the color of the walls in the small, suffocating room where the doctor uttered the words that took their breath away. It felt like recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming and it knocked the wind clean out of you.

Some mothers leave the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, take him in for a routine visit, or schedule her for a well check, and crash head first into a brick wall as they bear the brunt of devastating news. It can't be possible! That doesn't run in our family. Can this really be happening in our lifetime?

I am a woman who watches the Olympics for the sheer thrill of seeing finely sculpted bodies. It's not a lust thing; it's a wondrous thing. The athletes appear as specimens without flaw - rippling muscles with nary an ounce of flab or fat, virtual powerhouses of strength with lungs and limbs working in perfect harmony. Then the athlete walks over to a tote bag, rustles through the contents and pulls out an inhaler.

As I've told my own kids, be it on the way to physical therapy after a third knee surgery, or on a trip home from an echo cardiogram, there's no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear something at some time or another. Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, medication or surgery.

The health problems our children have experienced have been minimal and manageable, so I watch with keen interest and great admiration the mothers of children with serious disabilities, and wonder how they do it. Frankly, sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that child in and out of a wheelchair 20 times a day. How you monitor tests, track medications, regulate diet and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear. I wonder how you endure the praise and the platitudes, well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy pieces like this one saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you’re ordinary. You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this. You didn't jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me, God! Choose me! I've got what it takes."

You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so, please, let me do it for you. From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, carefully counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule. You can be warm and tender one minute, and when circumstances require, intense and aggressive the next. You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability. You're a neighbor, a friend, a stranger I pass at the mall. You're the woman I sit next to at church, my cousin and my sister-in-law. You're a woman who wanted ten fingers and ten toes, and got something more. You're a wonder.

Clubfoot Info

Writing is my therapy, so there may be more blog posts than anyone cares to read for a while. :)

Now that I've had a little time to read online, I can share what limited information I have about our little baby boy's condition.

Before I do that, let me add a prayer need. Eddie and I just watched the 4-D ultrasound DVD we rec'd last night. On it is the official paperwork about what the technician saw. Something that wasn't really discussed with us last night is something called a choriod plexus cyst. Apparently, this is fairly common and typically disappears by the 6th month. It could also be a symptom of a chromosomal anomaly. Please pray that it goes away before my next ultrasound and that there is nothing further wrong with our baby!

Is it possible to be both ENcouraged and DIScouraged all at once? That is the only way I can describe how I feel tonight. I am encouraged by what I've read about treatment for clubfoot, yet on the other hand discouraged that I am facing the possibility of walking this road at all. I know in the grand scheme of things, this is a minor blip on the radar - so I am encouraged. Yet, in this moment, my mother's heart is broken and I am discouraged. I fully trust in God's perfect plan for me, my baby and our family and therefore I am very encouraged. And yet there is a pain I just can't describe. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning!!!

Best I can tell - treatment for clubfoot entails serial casting which begins around 1-2 weeks of age. The casts are changed each week and the feet are manipulated slowly to the correct position. This generally last 6-8 weeks. The heel chords are then released followed by another cast for 3 weeks. After that, a brace is worn - possibly all day for a few months, but then just at night for 2 years. There is another treatment that involves lots of physical therapy, stretching, taping, etc = but also last 2 years. Both have about a 95% success rate according to a study I read about. This is encouraging news.

We would really prefer not to walk this road, but we are willing to go where God sends us. I know that if this is the journey He has called us to, He will fully equip us to walk it. I have already seen Him faithful in that. Sometimes people say, "God never gives you more than you can handle." I can assure you that giving me a child with Down Syndrome was more than I could handle. Thankfully, God has been faithful to equip us with every step ... and I know He will do the same with this.

I am sure I will have more information as the weeks go on - and hopefully more specifically from an orthopedist who will treat the baby after birth (if necessary, of course ... I am still believing God for that miracle healing!!!!)

Thanks for praying for and with us!

Its another ... BOY!!!

We are very excited to learn that we are expecting another baby boy!
We also learned from our ultrasound that our sweet boy has club feet. They are called "club" because it resembles a golf club. His little feet both turn in at the ankles. He is otherwise perfectly developing and healthy, but we are heart broken to begin a journey with a birth defect once again. Not the words any parent wants to hear - and certainly not twice.

We really don't have a lot of information yet. We've been told that this is fixed "relatively easily" - easily if its not YOUR baby :) - and we are grateful for that.

We trust that God is in control and we know that He has a perfect plan for our little guy. And we are anxious to see His plans play out. I am only 18 weeks along, so we have some time before this baby's arrival. During that time, we are asking everyone to pray for COMPLETE HEALING! We know God is a God of miracles and we want to flood heaven with prayers for this baby. We accept and praise God for whatever outcome He desires, but will BELIEVE for a miracle! Please join us in believing and trusting God in this situation.

This has already been a roller coaster of emotion and I have no doubt it will continue to be as we move forward. I will update facebook and our family blog as I learn/know more information. In the meantime, please be praying specifically for healing as well as wisdom & peace for Ed and me - and feel free to pass this on to anyone else you know that will be a faithful prayer warrior with us!
Thanks, Angela

Merry Christmas!

Watch closely ...

The Sustala Six is becoming The Sustala Seven!!

Journey with Jordan!

We had so much fun at the Buddy Walk this year! Jordan had 22 people on her team!!! Thanks to everyone who participated with us!

Team "Journey with Jordan"

Jordan was on cloud-nine and loved having everyone there just for her! We wore leis to make our team look cohesive. They looked good, but they sure were scratchy. I really liked that the Buddy Walk T-shirts were navy except for the folks with Down Syndrome - theirs were red. It really made them stand out!

Jordan spent most of her time on Uncle Erin's shoulders. He was a really great sport!

His shirt says "I AM ... ALL THAT IS MAN"
The 'boys' riding in the wagon

Uncle Erin with Jordan and Beth with Jake

Jadyn & Jace in the wagon, seconds before Jace passed out :)

Medals at the finish!

Kylie & Jace takin' a snooze
Stopping for a snack