Wednesday, June 06, 2007

A Work in my Heart

I love to reflect on changes God is making in my life, in my heart and in my mind. This year has been full of them! Some have been obvious and others have been much more subtle, but this has been a year of change, that's for sure.
The biggest and most obvious change, of course, was the move to homeschooling. Although the biggest life change, it was merely a catalyst for more. Its so difficult to imagine the ways God wants to change us, bless us and use us until we honestly open ourselves up to anything and everything He may have in mind. I thought I'd conquered that beast when I gave my life up to Him to move our family wherever He wanted to use us. But, He's been reminding me I need to give ALL areas of my life over to His control and though I'd relinquished the where to Him, I was still holding on to other areas.
Sometimes when God moves in my heart, I go along willingly and other times the changes He seeks are not welcomed, if I'm truly honest with myself. I can look back on this year and say that willing or not, I'm thankful He pushed me forward. I feel immensely blessed in so many ways.
As big a job as homeschooling is, it comes with big rewards. One of those has been the ongoing transformation of me as a mom. I'm encountering a joy with my children I didn't know before. I'm discovering them in new ways. I'm genuinely enjoying them. Their behavior is transforming as well. In the last few weeks, I've been stopped in restaurants by 3 different people and told that my children are so well behaved! I cannot think of a better compliment for a parent. Obviously, they aren't perfect ... but there is a noticeable change in them. Accompanied by all of this is my view of being a mom. God has been teaching me and reminding me that my greatest ministry is to my family. I'm CALLED to be a help and partner to my husband and a blessing to my children (what an absolute HONOR!!). I've learned that as a wife and mother, I have immense power in my family. I've been convicted that I have not been intentional in my role. I've also been convicted in the way I think about my children. My heart's attitude is reflected not only in them, but in my husband as well. I'm learning to make the constant choice to be joyful (content) whatever the circumstances (Phil 4:11).
One of the biggest lessons I'm learning is that I can't be everything I'm called to be at home AND get distracted by other things. God's been pointing out the distractions in my life. Some of them are really good things - but distractions nonetheless. I've been working on taking a step back and really evaluating things in those terms. I'm called to serve my family and that doesn't always leave room for distractions. I want my role as wife and mother to be all that God has ordained it to be - because in the end that's what brings Him glory and blesses my family. I'm praying He will continue to change and mold me!


Anonymous said...

Your children are beautiful and I think you are a great mom. I know that I look up to you. I have appreciated your encouragement to me to step forward into an avenue of change to be a better mom.

Lori Eilers said...

Wow Angela. You always inspire me and if more moms could come to the understanding you have about what it is to be a Godly mom, we would live in a totally different world. I'm serious! That's how powerful the job of motherhood is. I think you just inspired another lesson in my parenting class!

amain said...

amen, sista!
and btw, you totally inspire me, too:)